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F E Smith
F E Smith, Advocate
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 16015
Experience:  I have been practising for 30 years.
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My friend had an affair and his wife has filed for divorce

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My friend had an affair and his wife has filed for divorce ,her solicitors have made an fdr application with courts but have ticked the box saying they had mediation but although my friend has Been requesting mediation his ex wife hasn’t agreed
JA: What steps have been taken? Have any papers been filed in family court?
Customer: He has been issued a notice of hearing
JA: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county does he live in?
Customer: reading
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: they have a child but there has Been no discussion of his well being
Customer: replied 3 days ago.
The family home is mortgaged under the wife and her mothers name although the deposit was my friends money from his share in a house sale. Furthermore up until he was asked to leave the family home last year he paid the mortgage every month by putting cash into his wifes account this continued for approx 10 yrs
Customer: replied 3 days ago.
He wants to know
1) how can he apply for his share in the family home
2) his rights re his son
3) as the wife’s solicitors have lied on form and said mediation was carried out can he ask for application to be put on hold and how can he do this and then request mediation.
Customer: replied 3 days ago.
His wife has taken mediation alone it seems according to the form

I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.

I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.

Thank you!
Customer: replied 2 days ago.
Do you think you can get an answer this morning?

Good morning. I will assist with your question - be aware this is an email not chat service.

how long were they together and married in total?

how old is the child?

can he prove she hasnt met him for mediation?

is he still paying the mortgage while not living in property?

Customer: replied 2 days ago.
They met 2006
Married April 2007
Son was born feb 2011
In summer 2018 she found out about his affair And left him to then return in dec 2018 and then told him to leave the family home jan 2019.
The house was bought mortgages under her name but the deposit wss his money and they bought it August 2011 and he paid the mortgage until dec 2018There has been no joint mediation he can confirm that
Customer: replied 2 days ago.
Hi are you able to guide any further with the info provided ?

As it’s their application, he needs to write to the solicitors and tell them of the error and invite them to advise the court accordingly. Tell them that he has written to the court in the same terms.

He needs to also write to the court saying the same and telling them that he has written to the solicitor in the same terms.

The court will not get involved in marriage and finances unless divorce or legal separation proceedings have started.

As part of the divorce process, it is always a good idea to apply for a financial order:

Which draws a line under the finances of the marriage and prevents either of the ex-spouses coming back to the other, in some years time, asking for more money if circumstances have changed (the lottery?).

Strictly speaking, one of the parties should do that before they get the Decree Absolute otherwise there going to have to explain why the delay.

That would deal with the house and any other assets.

If they can’t agree what is happening then it would be decided by the court.

Similarly, they can’t agree what’s happening with the child, they are going to need a chart arrangement order

Here is the link to the Government webpage on Child Arrangement Orders.

There are lots of different Child arrangement orders.

They can include:

A Contact Order which specifies when parent sees a child,

Residence Order to determine who your child lives with,

Prohibited Steps Order to prevent a parent doing something with the child such as moving away

Specific Issue Order to allow a parent to do something specific with the child such as moving away.

Please note that before rushing off to court you have to have tried mediation first, even if it fails

Can I clarify anything else for you?

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Thank you.

If you still need any points clarifying, I will still reply because the thread does not close.

Best wishes.


F E Smith, Advocate
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 16015
Experience: I have been practising for 30 years.
F E Smith and 6 other Law Specialists are ready to help you