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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35771
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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We need your expertise as we need to be left alone and be

Customer Question

We need your expertise as we need to be left alone and be protected from illegal actions taken by my mother and her sister.
We would like to discuss check which ways we must follow: writing a strong strong letter to inform them, also I would like if possible, to get a restraining order, we need your advice also with regards ***** ***** possible criminal case and a police complaint.
Firstly, we do not want to be contacted, their actions causing our family stress and have always been intended to cause stress. They know they are harassing us and they continue.
Secondly as you can see in the details below, they are not afraid to push the legal limits and even committing illegal acts and we would like to warn them strongly against this.
I lived a life of permanent hell, hiding like a criminal due to my mother and her sister’s threats. She always left the impression that if she finds us, she will do something bad to us, as she did in the past and as she did now, as I will present below.
Her actions in the past and now, dramatically influenced my and my wife’s life.
Below is a succession of the events.
1. My father died 19 years ago on Feb 4th 2001 in Romania. I never had a good relationship with my mother (since, as I learnt later when I worked for 6 years with a counsellor specialised in abuse, she was an extremely abusive person) for this reason I moved to Canada in June 1999. At that time, I was very young and I didn’t have knowledge of Romanian law, while my mother did since her sister is a lawyer in Romania. My focus was instead to build a new life in Canada.
2. I was informed of my father’s death a year later in February 2002, I don’t have any documents to prove it, it was only me keeping track of my contacts with my mother. She called my parents in law who told me and then I called her.
3. I never was informed that the probate after my father wasn’t done, despite of the fact that I talked to my mother on the phone. She never mentioned or contacted me in the past 19 years to let me know that we could have amicably done the probate at a public notary which is the standard procedure in Romania. There was legal deadline of 6 month in which I had to express my option about the inheritance.
She had many opportunities to say we need to do the probate:
• When I first spoke with her about her about my father’s death
• When her and her sister have contacted my wife’s family who sent me messages.
• Emails between myself and my mother’s sister communication from 31 May 2013 where she confirms that she talked to my mother in law and she sent us the message. (page 14)
• Email between myself and my mother, 25/10/2010 (page 13) where she mentioned the inheritance she will leave me and she never mentioned that actually that part of that inheritance is actually mine from my father. Not knowing that, according to Romanian law I can only make a claim to the estate within a year of finding out of my fathers’ death, I am now what is called ‘’estranged’’ from the estate and only entitled to whatever she wants to pass on. She stated that she is willing to give me a share of the estate according to ‘’notarial’’ valuations which are at least 50% below the market value and it looks like she now tries to find ways to give me nothing. This was the reason she informed me about my father’s death in 2002 instead of 2001.
• She could have sent a polite message through my mother in law just the same as she sent the threatening letter.
She instead chose to go to court, first sending a threatening letter to my mother-in-law fully knowing and intending to causing stress.
She has lied in the court papers saying she has not been in touch with me for 17 years and she wants the Romanian state to find my details.
She omitted to tell me that she didn’t do the probate and she used this excuse to find out personal details about me and my wife: our address in Canada, our change of name, our correspondence between myself and my mother in law, the correspondence between my
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: Not yet.
JA: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: Surrey
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: No
Submitted: 5 days ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 5 days ago.

My name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help you. I am reviewing your question now, and will respond further within a few minutes

Expert:  Clare replied 5 days ago.

What do you wish to know about the position?

Customer: replied 5 days ago.
Many thanks for your answer. I would like to know if I can get a restraining order for my and my wife, or what would be the best way for us to address and stop this harassment. Shall I address this problem in a civil court, criminal court, police? I would also like to know if you could recommend us a solicitor who can help us in case we have to address any court. With many thanks. Lucien
Expert:  Clare replied 5 days ago.

how often are they contacting you?

Customer: replied 5 days ago.
More about the letter my mother-in-law received:
On 21/02/2020 my mother in law received, out of the blue, a letter from my mother’s attorney,, where they said the followings:
- ‘we have clear evidence of the communication between you and your daughter and my son as well’ page 7 (I believe that this is illegal, how else could she be in possession of such proof, this must have been illegally obtained)
- then they summoned (this is the word they used in Romanian, the certified translation is not correct) my mother-in-law to give them my address otherwise my mother in law will suffer legal and financial consequences. (page 8). They tried to blackmail my mother in law and illegally obtain my address. This is illegal even in Romania, no one has to give your personal details especially that no crime has been committed or if they don’t have a judge’s order.
- she also found out about my name change from . (page 8).
My mother-in-law went to her lawyer and replied that she doesn’t know our address and that letter is a sign of harassment. (page 5)
The court case:
Subsequently my mother opened a court case against me where she declared that she never talked to me in the past 17 years and she asks the court to declare her as the only heir and also to find my details in order to do this.
- page 11 ‘please note that although I have tried many times to take legal steps to communicate with the defendant, this has been impossible. For reasons unknown to me, the defendant cut off all connections with his family and also with the country.
When he left the country, he took all the civil status documents that belonged to him and, therefore, at the moment I do not even know his personal identification code. I was assured however that this can be obtained with the help of the court.”
Unfortunately, my mother wanted to use the court to find out personal information about me and also to force me to pay all her legal fees.
She also not only stated through her lawyer she has proof of correspondence between my wife ( and her mother) - page 7, she also illegally involved my wife in the court case also mentioning her name change . My wife and her family have no involvement in this probate case and she was still implicated in this case. She had no reason to search any records or to mention anything about my wife.
The issue is not the inheritance, I have said to her before that I am not interested and I have proof of this letter I sent to her and of her receiving it.
Finding a Romania lawyer was very hard since I interviewed over 15 and they gave me different answers. After I had hired a Romanian lawyer to help with the probate case this kind of abusive treatment continued. I sent my mother a letter through my solicitor that I would like to solve this issue at the notary amicably. She said that probably my mother promised her solicitor a substantial fee, since this is the procedure in these cases, fee which finally will be covered by me since she asked the court about this.
As you could see in Ms Juncu’s email to me dated 13 Aug 2020 (page 16) she advised that I can go to any notary in Romania and not only at the petitioner’s notary as my mother’s attorney was stating. (page 3 and 4)
My mother replied to my lawyer telling her that she needs a power of attorney for someone to represent me with the inheritance which is completely untrue as I checked with many notaries and this is not the case if you gave up the inheritance. I have the written confirmation to a notary to this effect.
As you could see from the above information and events, this was a sample of my life I lived, and then my wife and I lived with my motherand her sister , who is an lawyer herself.
Before leaving Romania in 1999 there were many instances where she and her sister tried to intimidate us either directly or through 3rd parties, acquittances. The means were phone calls, people at our door or when we meet in the street. For example, my aunt in one occasion pushed in to my wife’s personal space and making a headbutting gesture. This was out of the blue, without there being an argument going on. My mother and her sister called my wife names: The ridiculous cat, she called her a crook, a fraud, etc. My mother did the same with all my past girlfriends.
When I had my first job, my mother asked me to transfer my salary in her bank account.
Another example is posting notices on a Romanian-Canadian websites such as,, asking people to find us. At that time the internet was much smaller and the word spread. I have copies of those posts.
We were living in stress and hiding like criminals since we were afraid if she finds out about us, she will do all sorts of illegal things sometimes hard to prove. When I talked to her on the phone she had always this hate against my wife
Customer: replied 5 days ago.
apologies my message wasn't send in full. I could pay a full fee for your advise.
Customer: replied 5 days ago.
they contacted us at every 3 years, but it looks like in this time they staked us to find out private information about us. They have proof of correspondence between myself and my wife and her mother, they found out things as our change of name, our first address in Canada, and for sure they know this address in here since my wife is a chartered accountant and anyone can find her name at Companies House. I am afraid that they will prepare a second surprise for us.We are almost 50, married for 25 years and we have two wonderful boys. We cannot hide and live in fear because of them. As you could see they are very malicious and they do illegal and unexpected things.With many thanks.
Expert:  Clare replied 5 days ago.

How many communications have you received from her in the last year?

Customer: replied 5 days ago.
this was the only one with this court case, then we had to correspond through our solicitors to solve it.
Customer: replied 5 days ago.
She declared that she has proof of my correspondence and she found illegal my address, my change of name.
Expert:  Clare replied 5 days ago.

I understand all of that and understand that you have dealt with that through solicitors.

However I am not sure what you are looking for in the future?

Customer: replied 5 days ago.
I dealt through the solicitors for the probate, but I need to get an injunction in here, in the UK not to be harassed in the future.
Expert:  Clare replied 5 days ago.

I am afraid that you cannot obtain such an order unless there has been a pattern of harassment and one letter in a year simply will not meet that criteria.

In any event the fact that your mother is abroad makes an order obtained in the Uk of very little worth

I am sorry that this is not he news you hoped for - please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 5 days ago.
If I find private details about a person, their past address and I have proof of their personal correspondence, this is not prosecuted in the UK?
Expert:  Clare replied 5 days ago.

That will depend how they were find - but in any event there is no question of taking any action against someone for such an offence who is not in the UK