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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35948
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Can my ex husband do what he wants with our children and say

Customer Question

can my ex husband do what he wants with our children and say it is none of my business, ie take them to london on a train in the middle of a pandemic, let them walk to shops on their own, leave them home alone?
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: no
JA: Have you talked to a lawyer about this yet?
Customer: no
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: no
Submitted: 12 days ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 12 days ago.

My name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help you. I am reviewing your question now, and will respond further within a few minutes

Expert:  Clare replied 12 days ago.

How old are the children?

Customer: replied 12 days ago.
9 and 12
Expert:  Clare replied 12 days ago.

How long does he leave them home alone for?

Are there any court orders setting out what time the children spend with each of you?

Customer: replied 12 days ago.
no we have recently started sharing the children 50/50, we just have our own arrangement, I don't know as I am only hearing from the children, he has never discussed leaving them home alone or going out on their own with me, i have asked him to discuss and he says its none of my business. I cant see how him taking them to london on a train without telling me first is co-parenting, i only find out after the event because he says he can do what he wants.
Expert:  Clare replied 11 days ago.

I am afraid that to a degree he is correct.

When they are with him he is able to decide what they do without consulting you, provided that it is safe.

Given their ages walking to a close local shop is unlikely to be seen as unsafe in itself. Leavung them home alone ofr half an hour might be acceptable - any longer than that is not.

In general terms if it is likely that Social Services would see it as questionable then that is something you can challenge, anything else will no doubt be called "different parenting styles"

These are however issue sthat could be discussed using Family Mediation to avoid stressing the children with opposing attitudes

I am sorry that this is not clear cut - very little in family law is

Please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 11 days ago.
Can a parenting plan mean he has to agree to discuss such things? Going on a train to London given current guidance isn’t safe and I am so upset he can take that Decision that puts them and me at risk.
Expert:  Clare replied 11 days ago.

I am sorry but a Parenting plan cannot force consultation on all issues although it is a useful framework for identifying what things you both feel should be discussed