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F E Smith
F E Smith, Advocate
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 17249
Experience:  I have been practising for 30 years.
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I need some relationship divorce law advise please, No

Customer Question

Hi I need some relationship divorce law advise please
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: No nothing at all it’s all talk at the moment I just want to find out where I stand legally
JA: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: Uk
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: Kent
Submitted: 12 days ago.
Category: Law
Customer: replied 12 days ago.
We have been married 6 years. My wife says she does not want to be with me anymore. We have 3 children. She says she is in an unhappy marriage. There are no major specific problems. She says she wants me to go. I’m saying I’m prepared to stick with and make the marriage work and I’m not leaving my family because she feels unhappy and wants more... we are in rented accommodation. Where do I stand legally by refusing to leave. I pay all the bills.
Expert:  F E Smith replied 12 days ago.

Welcome to Just Answer.

I will be happy to assist with your question today. I need some time to consider this and compose a response. There is NO need to wait online because you will get an email when I respond. Sometimes it will be minutes, sometimes longer.

I apologise for any unavoidable delay, but rest assured I have not forgotten your question.

how long were you together before you married?

and are you both on tenancy?

can she afford the rent alone?

how old are the children?

Customer: replied 12 days ago.
Total together 11 years.
I think it’s just me in the tenancy. She can’t afford it in her own. The children are 13 (not mine) 9 and 7
Expert:  F E Smith replied 12 days ago.

Thank you. My advice is to stay put. It doesn’t make any difference to the finances but you will lose control.

If you leave, you are no longer responsible for the rent and unless you have started or she has started divorce or legal separation proceedings, the court will not normally get involved in marital finances.

While she may want you to leave, she may change her mind if she is left with the rental payments and the bills.

You still have a liability for child maintenance at the CMS rates which are here

Do read the whole document but the basic rates start at the top of page 18.

Child maintenance is reduced by 1/7th for each 52 nights that the non-resident parent has the children.

I am glad to help.

Hopefully, I have answered your query in a way that is simple and easy to understand.

I would be more than happy to clarify anything else for you. In the meantime, thank you once again for using our services.

I am happy to answer any specific points arising from this.

Please be aware that my answer is based strictly upon the information you have given me.

If you still need any points clarifying, I will be happy to reply because the thread does not close. In fact, it remains open indefinitely.

I am always happy to answer any further questions you have on any new thread in which case, please start your question with, “ For FES only”.

You don’t need to do it on this thread, just a new thread. You have me exclusively on this one.

Thank you.

Best wishes.


Customer: replied 12 days ago.
Thank you. I definitely believe I should stay put.
I have said if she wants to split she has to make the decision and I would then help set her up somewhere. Would I be able to use this gesture and amount as part of a future divorce settlement?I am 44 and she is 33 we have been together 11 years 6 married. Would she be entitled to a full 50% of my pension?
I also have a mortgaged second home would she also be entitled to a full 50% of the equity in that also. Even though I had these well before we were married ?
Expert:  F E Smith replied 12 days ago.

It would be classed as a 11 year relationship. That’s getting quite long.

The starting point for the division of marital finances is 50-50 and it is then adjusted up or down, one way or the other, in favour of one partner or the other depending on what the individuals put in at outset, the length of marriage and the time together before marriage, the needs of the individuals after the divorce, what savings, assets, pensions et cetera there are and also the ability of each person to work after the breakup.

The time which a couple are together before they get married will be taken into account because it would be grossly unfair if someone had been together for 30 years and then split up after being married for 12 months to have the finances treated in the same way as a couple who had got married not long after they met and were then divorcing after just 12 months.

It’s largely a mathematical thing but does look at needs after divorce.

Even if everything is being divided down the middle, it’s not really a case of dividing it down the middle, all the assets wouldn’t be split 50-50 but the bulk would be 50-50 and therefore one person may keep the house and the other for example could have the savings and the pensions.

Any offer that you make, as long as its reasonable assists later on because it shows that you are a good wholesome and reasonable person