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F E Smith
F E Smith, Advocate
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 17606
Experience:  I have been practising for 30 years.
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Been married for almost 8yrs... I got home 23/10/20 at

Customer Question

Been married for almost 8yrs... I got home 23/10/20 at 17:30, my belongings were in the door step, I knocked, she didn’t answer, I posted my keys, loaded the car, then the police came.. (no reason) I don’t even know why she’s thrown me out.. is this legal. I’m staying at a friends flat. She’s block my phone I can’t even speak to my 7yr old. This is killing me, I’ve had no answers, no communication.
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: No I’ve done nothing.. I love her and I don’t want my children to suffer anything.
JA: Have you talked to a lawyer about this yet?
Customer: No, no legal steps have been taken
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: i just want to know why
Submitted: 20 days ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  F E Smith replied 20 days ago.

Welcome to Just Answer.

I will be happy to assist with your question today. I need some time to consider this and compose a response. There is NO need to wait online because you will get an email when I respond. Sometimes it will be minutes, sometimes longer.

I apologise for any unavoidable delay, but rest assured I have not forgotten your question.

for background -

how long were you together and married in total?

is the property mortgaged or rented? if mortgaged in who's name?

has she asked for child maintainance?

and are you prepared to get child contact orders?

Customer: replied 20 days ago.
Together 15yrs in total.
Property is rented and in my wife’s name.
No maintenance asked for. I’ve had no communication, I don’t know what’s she’s planning to do.
Child contact orders... I want to see my children but I want to speak with my wife first to try and sort this out. I don’t want strain relations with the children.
Customer: replied 20 days ago.
I can’t afford calls as yet... sorry
Expert:  F E Smith replied 20 days ago.

There is nothing that you can do in the short term about contact with the child.

You need a Child arrangement order and I would suggest that you get onto the case as soon as you can. Now.

Here is the link to the Government webpage on Child Arrangement Orders.

There are lots of different Child arrangement orders.

They can include:

A Contact Order which specifies when parent sees a child,

Residence Order to determine who your child lives with,

Prohibited Steps Order to prevent a parent doing something with the child such as moving away

Specific Issue Order to allow a parent to do something specific with the child such as moving away.

Please note that before rushing off to court you have to have tried mediation first, even if it fails

This is the marital home and provided there is no court order preventing a spouse going to or living in the property then then they are free to come and go as they like.

If the house is in joint names and your spouse will not let you in, then you are entitled to break in and charge your spouse for the cost of the damage although, if you are doing that, you would be well advised to use a locksmith to minimise damage.

You would also be well advised to ask the police to attend so that your spouse cannot allege criminal damage (it isn’t if the house is in your name or joint names) or domestic violence. They won’t normally attend but ask and tell them what you have been told by a solicitor.

It’s always a good idea to have an independent witness present particularly if they can video and record what happens. It’s not illegal to video anyone or record them.

You cannot break in if you are not on the deeds.

Let me tell you now that in circumstances like this, spouses are adept at being “inventive/creative” when it comes to allegations of domestic violence and coercive controlling behaviour.

A female barrister I know and a female solicitor both of the opinion that at least 50% of the allegations of domestic violence or coercive controlling behaviour which are made in circumstances like this are spurious so that they can get their own way.

So be careful because whatever you do, you may find that there is an allegation made to the police of violence/bullying/coercive controlling behaviour et cetera et cetera.

If you wanted to do it differently, and to give your spouse a little surprise, you can always make an emergency application for a court injunction to compel your spouse to allow you back in the property and you can ask the court to award all the costs against them. The first they would know about it is when the court order landed on the doormat.

However, mark my words about the allegations of domestic violence et cetera.

We careful in continuing to try to contact your spouse because if it’s not wanted, then the spouse can then make an allegation of harassment.

Harassment is defined as a course of action (more than once) which is intended to harass, does harass, is reckless as to whether it harasses, or if the average bystander would look at the conduct and think that it was indeed harassment.

Harassment is both a civil matter and a criminal matter.

If a person is being harassed. They can to the police and ask them to warn the alleged culprit under the Protection from Harassment Act. Some police forces take that very seriously and others not so and therefore, a complainant may need to speak to a senior officer or put a complaint in writing to the Chief Constable.

I am glad to help.

Hopefully, I have answered your query in a way that is simple and easy to understand.

I would be more than happy to clarify anything else for you. In the meantime, thank you once again for using our services.

I am happy to answer any specific points arising from this.

Please be aware that my answer is based strictly upon the information you have given me.

If you still need any points clarifying, I will be happy to reply because the thread does not close. In fact, it remains open indefinitely.

I am always happy to answer any further questions you have on any new thread in which case, please start your question with, “ For FES only”.

That only applies to new threads, not this one. You have me exclusively on this one.

Thank you.

Best wishes.


Customer: replied 20 days ago.
Thank you very much. You’ve given me some answers to a few events that have already occurred..
Expert:  F E Smith replied 20 days ago.

No problem at all. I am glad to help. Please come back to me at any time if anything needs clarification. Kind regards.