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Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 189
Experience:  Expert
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I have a question. My husband is in a tricky situation with

Customer Question

Hello there. I have a question. My husband is in a tricky situation with his ex who isn't at all nice to him. He still had some persona Oops sorry
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: Some personal belongings in the loft including his sisters wedding dress. Despite the fact that he goes to the house weekly to collect the children they have thrown away all his things without asking him if he wanted them. Is this legal
JA: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: We live in Hertfordshire
JA: Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: Just that we always try to be amicable and have open communication with them but are ignored. They make decisions about the children without telling him which is something else we would like help on. They have known for months that they are moving but are not allowed to tell my husband.
Submitted: 11 days ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  ChrisB4147 replied 11 days ago.

Hi, thanks for the question.  I’m Chris and I’m a Solicitor. I will be happy to assist you and hope to provide a full response as quickly as possible.

This is a question and answer service rather than an instant chat service, and I may not be able to reply immediately. However, rest assured that I am dealing with your question and will get back to you as soon as I can.

I’m sorry to hear about the situation you and your husband find yourselves in. They can’t just throw away his items but if they have the only option would be to sue them, but I suspect that would be more hassle that it is worth as you would have to value the items to sue on and then prove that the items were there.

What sort of decisions are being made in relation to the children?

Customer: replied 11 days ago.
I know its really terrible. A lot of the stuff was not even that valuable but had sentimental value and was left by deceased relatives. We have text messages from them saying some of the items were there and thrown away. Is that proof or how else would we find proof and can they be sued for emotional damages as his sister is obviously mortified about her wedding dress.
Expert:  ChrisB4147 replied 11 days ago.

It is such a shame when it comes to things like this. These things are often very sentimental but the actual value of them is low. If you were to sue, it is on you to prove to the court and text messages are helpful in these circumstances. However, attempting to sue for what is, in effect, personal-injury (emotional damage) would not work. There is no real provision

Customer: replied 11 days ago.
With regards ***** ***** children his son has medical issues and is taken to hospital appointments and given no information or updates as to what they were for and is ignored if asked. It is also common knowledge that they are moving an hour and a half from here but he has not been told. The children have accidentally let things slip out and have said they are not allowed to tell us. My husband asked their mum about this months ago and was told no decisions had been made about moving but the children know which school they are going to. Also for no reason at all not long after she met her new partner their mum refused to speak to him directly anymore and he can only talk to her through her boyfriend and any messages sent to her are ignored.
Customer: replied 11 days ago.
Is this ok? Doesn't she need a really good reason to not communicate with him at all over the children?
Customer: replied 11 days ago.
With regards ***** ***** things in the loft some were apparently very valuable unopened football memorabilia and collectible vintage games consoles and games. Not sure how we can prove that though.
Expert:  ChrisB4147 replied 11 days ago.

They should be for communication comes to the children. Especially if they are going to move. I need to be information.

Sounds to me as though this is coming close to a need for intervention by the court.  Before going to court it is always preferable to attend mediation. That is needed in any event before making an application to court. It does not have to be much and could simply be your son going to one mediation session on his own and thereafter applying to court. However, she could be invited to mediation. If she does not, then he can make an application to the court.

He can apply for a specific issue to stop her moving (or moving the children’s school)or a child arrangement to set out what the contact provision will be and how it will work if they move. It can also include provision for communication.

It is always based on the facts of the case. All the court have to go off from a legal point of view is a welfare checklist from the children act. This says that the court have to consider the following.

(a)the ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in the light of his age and understanding);

(b)his physical, emotional and educational needs;

(c)the likely effect on him of any change in his circumstances;

(d)his age, sex, background and any characteristics of his which the court considers relevant;

(e)any harm which he has suffered or is at risk of suffering;

(f)how capable each of his parents, and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant, is of meeting his needs;

(g)the range of powers available to the court under this Act in the proceedings in question.

Customer: replied 11 days ago.
OK that is really helpful and someone else before did mention that an intervention by court maybe needed. I think he was trying to avoid this but it looks like there isn't another option now. What a shame. I will talk to him. We will probably try and write to her again and offer her the opportunity to sort things out. It will be ignored and she won't go to mediation I wouldn't have thought so sadly it will probably end up in court. I really appreciate your advice and will come back to you.
Customer: replied 11 days ago.
Oh I had one more thing to ask. In the divorce it was agreed that he could be bought out of the house in yearly instalments. Only one year has passed since this was agreed and so obviously only one payment received. Does this mean technically he still owns part of the house until he has been paid off in full or not. Also when they sell the house does she still have to pay him off in yearly instalments or does she have to pay him in full in one lump sum once the house is sold?
Expert:  ChrisB4147 replied 11 days ago.

I would think the order from the divorce says that he relinquished all rights over the property, so he won’t have any ownership. I don’t know how the Order was worded, but I hope it would say that if she sold the house your son gets the rest of his money then.

I'm glad I could assist with your questions today. All the best and please let me know here if you have any further questions on this matter or anything needs clarifying. I hope the matter gets resolved.

Customer: replied 11 days ago.
Thank you. Its my husband having the issues not my son thankfully! Although neither is nice. Thsnks again
Expert:  ChrisB4147 replied 11 days ago.

Yes! Not sure why I wrote ‘son’. End of a long hot day! :) All the best.