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Stuart J
Stuart J, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 23767
Experience:  Senior Partner at Berkson Wallace
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My ex partner suffers from a Borderline Personality disorder

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My ex partner suffers from a Borderline Personality disorder (BPD) due to abuse she suffered as a child and she has twice made false complaints against me with the Police, both of which were easily disproved as she sent me many emails while we were together trying to explain her problems, however her complaints continue to cause me difficulties with the Police adopting the attitude that the 'woman should always be believed' with my case continually logged as unproven due to lack of evidence. That's because there was no crime, but complaints against the Police don't work, while legal action against them is hugely expensive and would go on for years. My ex has also been saying things on social media, plus has met with mutual friends who in turn came to my place of work (a pub) and spread awful rumours about me to the point where, ironically, I had to ask the police for help. Suing for defamation is way beyond my finances and not really the issue here, I understand that I could bring a writ against her for harassment and that I would then be obliged to inform the judge about her known and confirmed mental health difficulties and that hopefully/possibly, her issues could then be properly and officially assessed. Is it correct that I can follow the 'harassment' path through the civil courts and how much, as a ballpark figure, would it cost to get this before a judge where he can be notified of her mental health difficulties?
JA: Where are you? It matters because laws vary by location.
Customer: Sussex, UK. Sussex Police are well known to be difficult
JA: What steps have you taken so far?
Customer: Several complaints to the Police and Commissioners office. A couple of legal letters sent to her asking her to stop (which she then took to the Police saying they were forgeries I had concocted myself!) , however my solicitors don't take cases against the Police and have also represented one of the mutual friends, so their representation wasn't working.
JA: Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: It's obviously a very involved issue, but that's the bare bones of it

Hello. Thank you for the question. It is my pleasure to assist you with this today.

Please bear with me as I will be online and off-line from time to time and therefore, may be delayed getting back to you. You will receive an email when I reply.

Im sorry to hear about this matter - can i ask the following;

Are/were you married and if so are you divorced now?
has she been diagnosed with this condition and have you informed Police?

and you now want to stop her all contact immediately?

Customer: replied 14 days ago.
Not married, simply partners. Yes she has been referred to a psychiatrist by her GP but stopped going after her first 6 free NHS sessions and only goes occasionally, having given away her life savings of approx £50,000 to her previous partner (a sign of her illness) and then couldn't afford to pay for her own treatment - She knows she is ill but doesn't always accept that she is behaving irrationally as the illness has affected her perception. I have all this in emails from her, which I have shown to the Police and their only response was to tell me to delete them, which is illegal. Sussex Police were hugely embarrassed when a girl called Shana Grice repeatedly asked for their protection from her stalker ex boyfriend, they eventually fined her for wasting police time and she was then subsequently murdered by him, Sussex were hugely criticised (rightly) and subsequently have been over compensating, so I have never received a fair hearing from them and going to charities who represent the falsely accused, I've learned they have a track record for this and have spent over £4.5 million in compensation and legal fees since the Grice murder in August 2016.
Customer: replied 14 days ago.
Thanks but I would prefer to have the advice in writing so I can consider it properly, I don't expect any great detail, I simply need to know if I can pursue 'Harassment' through the civil courts and ballpark estimate figure to get this before a judge
Customer: replied 14 days ago.
Harassment, or alternative to defamation which is hugely costly
Customer: replied 14 days ago.
Sorry, missed your last question - There is no contact between us, but I need to undo all the terrible damage she has caused me which continues to cause me problems and the Police are no help, refusing to allow me to press charges, even though this is my right and would mean her referral for a proper mental health review.

Harassment is defined as a course of action (more than once) which is intended to harass, does harass, is reckless as to whether it harasses, or if the average bystander would look at the conduct and think that it was indeed harassment.

Harassment is both a civil matter and a criminal matter.

If a person is being harassed, they can go to the police and ask them to warn the alleged culprit under the Protection from Harassment Act.  Some police forces take harassment very seriously and others not so and therefore, the person who is being allegedly harassed may need to speak to a senior officer or put a complaint in writing to the Chief Constable.

Part of your complaint is exactly what you have said about the police’s attitude that she is the one who should be believed.  There is the well-publicised case of the guy who was almost killed by his girlfriend recently and to look at her, butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.

Apart from that, in these days of equality, what you say should take as much precedence as what she says.

Indeed, probably more because it appears that she has a history of lying.

Notwithstanding the police (who would rather stop people for speeding because it makes money and is easy) you can always apply to court for a civil injunction to stop her speaking to you, contacting you, or disparaging you to 3rd parties or making complaints.

Applying for a prohibitory (preventing) or mandatory (compelling) injunction is relatively straightforward.  Just work it through a bit at a time.

There is a specific court order form N 16 A injunction application form which is here: https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-n16a-application-for-injunction-general-form

And you will also need court form N1 which is here

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-n1-claim-form-cpr-part-7

I have no idea why some require the extra N1  form because in my opinion it doesn’t add anything to the process but if they want it, let them have it.  Alternatively you could use N208, which is virtually the same as N1.  The difference is that N1 is part 7 of the Civil Procedure Rules and N208 as part 8 of the civil procedure rules.

If you want to know what the difference between part 7 and part 8 is, join the queue.  Part 7 is appropriate if there are lot of evidential issues but how you decide that, the majority of solicitors don't even know.

So you can use one or the other.

The court fee is GBP308

You are going to need also a witness statement in this format

Please note that the Statement of Truth at the end of a witness statement has changed.  It changed quietly on 6 of April 2020.

Here is the form of witness statement on the government website which at the time of putting the link together, still had the old Statement of Truth.

https://www.justice.gov.uk/courts/procedure-rules/civil/standard-directions/general/witness-statements

Here is the new wording: https://parissmith.co.uk/blog/guidance-signing-statement-of-truth/

it is referred to in box 6 of the N16

if there is some urgency with this you can make an emergency application and the next 48-hour is.  You would need to attach a Certificate of Urgency (a letter headed as such) saying why this is urgent.

Incidentally, it would be a good idea to attach screenshots or documents, and in the witness statement you would say “a copy (or a screenshot) of the XXX is attached marked Exhibit A”.  You then write Exhibit A (and so on and so forth) at the top of the exhibit.

You also need to ask the court to award costs against the other person, in your favour and in that respect you need a timesheet of everything that you have spent timewise and moneywise, including this advice, at GBP19 per hour.

Thank you for letting me assist you with your legal question.  I am glad that I was able to help.

I am not certain whether that answers the question for you or not, but I am happy to answer any specific points arising from this.

It will be my pleasure to help you again either further with this or any future questions you have

Kind regards

Customer: replied 14 days ago.
Ok, as I understand it I can take action to prevent recurrences of this situation, but I can't do a retrospective claim for harassment in the way that you would for defamation? If that's the case, it's not what I expected but it does seem a way forward as we live relatively close by and if approved would prove my point that I was not the guilty one. Finally, could my solicitor write to her family, who are aware of her situation, warning them that this is my intention if she can't be persuaded into proper treatment, or would that be overstepping? Thank you very much for this advice and I'm happy to pay an added amount to reflect this.

There is no financial claim for harassment.  Even for defamation you have a 12 month time limit.

So I can’t see why you would want a retrospective claim bearing in mind that the court can only order something from now onwards.

Since of course you could get a solicitor to write to her and it would have one of two effects.  He would either ignore it or take notice.  However she doesn’t seem to be bothered about lying to the authorities and the police so in my opinion it could be a waste of time and money.  No harm in trying it.

You need to be very careful suggesting that she takes treatment it’s not something I would include in correspondence.

Customer: replied 14 days ago.
Sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like a financial claim, that's not my motivation. I wanted to know if I could get some kind of legal order to have her mental health assessed, but from what you say that appears to be a step too far and best to stick with the restraining order type course of action, which you've suggested and more or less serves the same purpose anyway. Afraid I'm not rolling in money due to Covid, but is there a way I can pay an extra £20 as a thank you for your services and advice?

I probably wouldn’t go there with the suggestion of having her mental health assessed although I can understand what an attractive proposition that would be.

Thank you for the kind offer of the extra fee, it really is appreciated.

The pages that I see are different than yours but I understand that there is the facility somewhere you to pay a bonus/tip.

Kind regards

Stuart J and 2 other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 14 days ago.
My ex partner is not a bad person,she's just terribly unwell, the whole situation is very unfortunate but I can see that law is saying that I have to restrict any actions to things which have affected me personally, which is understandable and logical. Thank you ever so much, I'll track down the bonus/tip