How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • Go back-and-forth until satisfied
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Stuart J Your Own Question
Stuart J
Stuart J, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 24640
Experience:  Senior Partner at Berkson Wallace
11292137
Type Your Law Question Here...
Stuart J is online now

Actually not my story but it’s related to my life, started

Customer Question

Hi actually not my story but it’s related to my life , started from my boyfriend dating for 3 years now , so he moves out from his ex for almost 3 years .
JA: Where are you? It matters because laws vary by location.
Customer: London He wanted to divorce but she disagreed Any I wanted to know where are I standing for
JA: What steps have you taken so far?
Customer: he sent her paper to sign but she kept saying need to talk to solicitor first but been a year nothing happened sadly
JA: Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: can my boyfriend force to divorce?
Submitted: 21 days ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Stuart J replied 21 days ago.

Hello. Thank you for the question. It is my pleasure to assist your with this today.

Please bear with me and I will be online and off-line from time to time and therefore, may be delayed getting back to you. You will receive an email when I reply.

For background -

does he leave a mortgaged property and if so in who's name mortgage?

are there any children under 18?

Customer: replied 21 days ago.
Thank you so much for reply and apologies for my English.
He moved in with me from December 2018 , still paying the mortgage and housing expenses and kids.
3 kids , 18 boy and 16 twins girls. The mortgage for both names. Thanks
Expert:  Stuart J replied 21 days ago.

Yes he can get a divorce.

She might have disagreed with him wanting a divorce, he should have just done it anyway.

Provided that at least one of the people wishing to get divorced lives in England, then getting divorced in England (& Wales) is infinitely a do-it-yourself job.  (I am not familiar with the system in Scotland)

Save yourself a whole load of money: the government website have a do-it-yourself guide

https://www.gov.uk/divorce

Although you can agree finances between you, it doesn’t draw a line under it unless you have a financial order

https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends

And if have children under 18, and you cannot agree who they live with and who sees who and when, then you need a child arrangement order (which includes Specific Issue Orders:

To confirm that something can happen

and a Prohibited Steps Orders

To stop something happening

https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce

In the United Kingdom, we do not have “irreconcilable differences”.  That is a thing in the United States for the time being at least.  The rules are changing here shortly to get rid of the following 5 grounds of divorce and to get rid of the fault issue but that has yet to be enacted.  To be honest, in my opinion, it’s going to make very little difference because the big arguments are over finance and children not the actual divorce itself.

It doesn’t matter who divorces who or why, the financial issues are exactly the same.  The court has not apportioned blame with regard to the division of marital finances for many years.

Grounds for getting divorced are:

1          The couple have lived part 2 years or more but less than 5 years and they both consent to the divorce.

2          The couple have lived apart for 5 years or more, regardless of whether they both consent or not.

3          Desertion.  Not common.

4          Adultery.  Very difficult to prove unless there is unequivocal evidence or an admission.

5          Unreasonable behaviour.  Most common and relatively easily to put together a petition on these grounds.  For example:

A spouse wants an unreasonable amount of sex/never once it.
Lack of personal hygiene/obsessive personal hygiene.

Obsessively tidy/extremely messy and untidy.

Gambles to excess/it’s tightfisted with money.

Never interacts with spouse or children/obsessive with children.

Violent or bullying or intimidating.

Excess alcohol.

Lots of grounds.

Please note that a legal separation is not the first step or precursor to a divorce.  It is virtually the same process but it doesn't dissolve the marriage.  However it draws a line under the relationship formally.  The difference between a legal separation and divorce is basically that you cannot get remarried again.  The reason you would have a legal separation, rather than a divorce is you can get divorced, for religious reasons for example.

If you want sign the papers then that can be dealt with.

If you don’t know where your spouse is, then provided you have made attempts to contact him, there is a process for doing that where the service of documents is dispensed with:

the government to the rescue again with a website on that subject: https://www.gov.uk/divorce-missing-husband-wife

If you know where your spouse is but he won’t sign the papers, then you can make an application court for Deemed Service of the papers provided you can prove he’s had them and is just ignoring them.

Here is an article on the subject:

https://www.ellisjones.co.uk/blog/article/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-refuses-to-sign-the-divorce-papers

Thank you for letting me assist you with your legal question.  I am glad that I was able to help.

I am not certain whether that answers the question for you or not, but I am happy to answer any specific points arising from this.

It will be my pleasure to help you again either further with this or any future questions you have

Kind regards