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It is not for me to say what is right. I can advice on the law.
He is the father, is named on the birth certificate and therefore is legally entitled to equal access and custody of the child, unless a court order says otherwise.
Where he lives makes little difference, it is as far for him to come to you as it is for you to go to him.
Mediation should take place, and is required before any child arrangements heating can take place.
What is right for a child is to see and be with both parents equally so they get to know both.
He could use the same argument as to why he should have her. It works two ways.
There will be many things to sort out, this is part of parenting especially if not living as a couple but rather single parents.
Forget case law. Each case is dealt with on its own merits. He has as music rights to child contact as you do, even if you do not like that fact.
Therefore you need to attend mediation, if you refuse that will go against you that you refused to take park. He would gain more credit from that with the court.
Also look to instruct a local f!ily law firm, you may qualify for legal aid.
I cannot say if you will get legal aid, I say you may qualify you would need to speak to a firm to see.
Common scenes would say it is clearly not possible to travel to the nursery like that. But the child could attend another Up there. And no it would not be reasonable to take the child from London to there either to attend nursery.
A court will decide what is best for the child.
Your welcome, I fully understand your concerns as a caring mother, these matters are never easily to deal with especially when the other side wants access then does not, or is simply doing this to avoid paying full child maintenance
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