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Ask Dr. D. Love Your Own Question
Dr. D. Love
Dr. D. Love, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 19433
Experience:  Family Physician for 10 years; Hospital Medical Director for 10 years.
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my ex wife is stopping me seeing our 4 year old daughter that

Customer Question

my ex wife is stopping me seeing our 4 year old daughter that I have a very close relationship with & up until recently I did most of the care for her eg getting her up, washing, bathing, dressing, toilet, taking out, bedtime storeys ect, I don't know what excuse my ex wife has given our daughter for stopping us seeing each other, this has gone on for about six weeks & its going to be another four weeks until we are in court (my ex wife has gone against the agreement from mediation where our daughter would stay with me three days a week) . My ex wife is also stopping my daughter from having any contact with my new partner (who my daughter gets on very well with) so my question is: what harm is this doing & what can I do about it?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 4 years ago.
It will help if you could provide some clarification:
Are you seeking medical advice or are you needing legal advice for how to deal with your ex-wife?

Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 4 years ago.
I had asked for some clarification, but have not heard back.

From a medical perspective, there are a variety of health effects on children of divorce, both physical and psychological in nature. From a physical perspective, this is most often seen as the type of illness children get the most often - infections. For example, such children are more likely to develop a Strep throat when the parents are going through divorce. From a psychological perspective, this can affect social interaction with their peers and how they interact with either parent.

As for what you can do, there are several important issues to consider. It is appropriate that you should do whatever you can to assure that you are still in her life, although that becomes more of a legal issue. It also would be helpful to avoid the difficult aspects of the divorce discussions in front of your daughter, nor to say negative things about your ex-wife to your daughter. When divorcing parents argue in front of the children or try to alter the children's perspective of the other parent, that increases the risk of driving a wedge between the children and both parents. If it appears that she is having difficulty, it would be appropriate to arrange for professional counselling.

If you have any further questions, please let me know.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

ok, thanks it was only medical/mental information I needed as the solicitors are dealing with the legal stuff. Really I just wanted to know what I can do to stop any emotional damage being don to our daughter.

Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 4 years ago.
The interventions noted above are the appropriate interventions that would help avoid any emotional damage. Avoiding the stress associated with the divorce will help reduce the risk of both the physical and psychologic issues, and considering counselling if she starts to exhibit any difficulties.