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Ask Dr. D. Love Your Own Question
Dr. D. Love
Dr. D. Love, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 19314
Experience:  Family Physician for 10 years; Hospital Medical Director for 10 years.
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Hi I suspect my husband having Asperger syndrome or schizophrenia

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I suspect my husband having Asperger syndrome or schizophrenia as his behavior has changed in the last year. He does nor accept that might have a problem , rejecting my advice. From time to time is violent, very impossible to live with, he is unable to have friends changed a lot of jobs and probably lost a lot of opportunities in life.
I know him very well and was a wonderful person but now I can't recognize him at all. He wants to be alone, to live separately but from time to time I think he understand that is going wrong and we are crying together not knowing what to do.
Please let me know how can I help him as could be in danger. I am very afraid not killing himself as he is trying to push me out from his life for protecting me. He is very sorry about me. Is it a good idea to speak with his GP? Where to start from?
It will help if you could provide some clarification:
It is not clear what danger may be present if you are not afraid that he may kill himself.
Could you clarify what form of danger that you fear?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hi Dr Love


I feel that he is rejecting me as he understood he has a problem. I hope he has not suicidal thoughts as I think he is very upset and obsessed of loosing jobs. He is unable to cope with co workers as one of them told me about his behavior at work, he became very lonely, the only way of having contacts with people is chating with women on dating sites...he is doing this for one year almost , ONLY this, day by day. He is not talking with me, friends, family members.

I am afraid he will lose jobs and I know he can be very upset and angry with me and with recruiters.

He is sorry about me but in the same time wants to live separately. I do not understand why he is seeing me like an enemy and rejecting me without hating.


Thank you for the clarification.

There are several possibilities to consider in this situation.

Asperger syndrome certainly can include a defect in social interaction, but this is a condition that would have been present since he was young, not something that would arise in adulthood. Some people may not be diagnosed until an adult, but they or the family will typically recall examples of the difficulty in social interaction that was present when younger. Since his behaviour has changed in the last year, this would be unlikely to be Asperger, unless there were other manifestations of poor social interaction.

The behaviour that you describe also is not typical for schizophrenia. It is still possible, but it would usually require a more detailed assessment to look for characteristic behavioural problems, such as loss of touch with reality, delusions, or hallucinations.

It is more likely that the behaviour that you describe would be related to problems with depression. There are actually several different types of depression, some of which can have mild symptoms similar to schizophrenia, which is also part of why it requires a detailed assessment. Depression also frequently causes a person to feel isolated and alone, so can affect social interactions.

As for what you can do, the primary issue is to try to get him to see a mental health professional for that detailed assessment. If he refuses to consider that there is anything wrong, then it may be difficult to convince him to see a mental health professional. In that setting, it would be appropriate to discuss the situation with his GP. His GP would already have familiarity with him, so would only need the information regarding the problems that you have witnessed over the last year. Your husband would usually be less likely to refuse to see his GP, even if he refuses to see a mental health professional. Of course, the GP must maintain confidentiality, so the GP cannot share with you any concerns regarding any assessment that has or will be done. But the GP can receive information from you regarding what you have witnessed and use that information to guide the assessment of your husband.

I asked about the clarification regarding what you fear, because this would affect the timing of how you should discuss this with his GP. There are provisions for addressing persons with mental health problems that are suicidal, and his GP can access resources for an emergent mental health assessment. It does not sound like this is necessary from your clarification, but if there is any behaviour in the future that raises concern that there may be suicidal thoughts or plans, then an emergent call to his GP will be the first step in getting the process started for an emergency assessment.

If you have any further questions, please let me know.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you very much for your reply.


I was thinking to go to his GP but I was not sure if I am entitle to speak in my husband's name.


I have notice since I have met my husband that he is very poor in social contacts, he was very nervous when we went to parties in my family with some meltdowns after, his way of talking with new people is very strange. In the past he had few friends but not now, he avoids all our contacts even on skype.

Also in the last year he became very out of reality, spending money of vary bad projects like starting a business, is repeating more and more often the same thing even 20 time s per day and making my life impossible. His vocabulary is very poor that's why I am thinking about schizophrenia.

I don't think it is only a depression as he is very angry on all people, very suspicious hating almost everyone, very violent in speaking , swearing a lot (me, people around us). He forced me to transfer in his bank account a lot of money without any explanation, is very easy to convince to spend money by bad people around him.

Anyway thanks for your time and I will contact his GP.


All the best!


It is not that you are entitled to speak in his name. It is that you can speak in your own name expressing concerns about his mental health.

I hope that everything goes well.

If I have answered all your questions, please remember to provide a positive rating so that I am credited for assisting you.

Dr. D. Love and 3 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hi Dr Love


I just came from my husband's GP told me that she can't make an apointment with me as time as I didn't have my husband's consent. In her opinion only if my husband is in her room it is ok, she doesn't talk to me. She said to go to my GP to tel him that I was punched by my husband or to domestic violence. This case is not in her job.

Is it true or not? What to do in this case?

No, it is not completely true. She is referencing the rules that govern whether she can relay confidential information to you. She does not need him in the room for you to express your concerns about his health. She either does not realize that you are not expecting her to share confidential information or a cynic may consider that she does not want to have to deal with it.

At this point, you can write a letter to the GP providing details of the behaviour that is problematic. She is correct that you can report any domestic violence to your GP, but this is generally only going to force him to seek care during the time that he is potentially acutely dangerous to himself or others, so would need to be reported quickly. From a legal perspective, they will investigate any report of a crime that has not passed the statute of limitations (although you are better seeking a legal opinion on this issue), but from a medical perspective, they will not force a psychologic assessment on any individual except when they are potentially acutely dangerous to themselves or others. So reporting this to your GP may be appropriate from other legal persoectives, but from the perspective of getting him into a proper assessment, it should be done immediately after the episode.