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Family Physician
Family Physician, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 2418
Experience:  GP with over 27 years experience including emergency medicine
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Hi i wonder if you can give me some advice, Ive just done

Customer Question

Hi i wonder if you can give me some advice,
Ive just done your depression test and even though i know its not 100 percent i was still slightly shocked to see i had come in with 44 points. I had my son 6 years ago and since then ive been suffering the weirdest moods ever. Every few months i go through extreme mood swings and anger problem. Ive always been a kind of unemotional person never able to tell people i love them besides my son even if i do (my family included), i dont feel love for anyone besides my son even though i love my family i dont feel it inside. i cant look people in the eye for longer than a few seconds as for some reason i feel embarrassed. When i get nervous im majorly freaking out. I assumed it was maybe that depression after birth but im worried about how long its gone on. My son was a healthy 9,4 which resulted in me staying in hospital for 4 days, something i had, had my heart set against and by the second day i was in tears watching my family leave me and my boy in hospital. Coming out i lived with my parents for the first five n half years of my sons life and growing up he had a better relationship with my older sister and dad then he did me...completely my own fault because i never wanted to do anything, or felt like i could do anything with him, thus letting my mum take over for me, whereas they would take him out to the park and to feed the ducks. While all this was going on my mood swings where up and down. On the good days i can be the happiest go lucky person around but on a bad day, well its never got as far as suicide thoughts but i could be on a major downer. When my sons terrible twos started, i could leave him with my mum and go for a brew with my friend to calm down when he stressed me out. However i recently moved into my own place august this year and lately my family have noticed my mood swings have come on stronger than ever. Im constantly feeling lonely as i cant go to my friends anymore when my childs in bed, im smoking between 15-20 fags a day if not more whereas when i lived with my family, i felt no need to smoke there. My anger levels are through the roof, the simplest stupid thing will set me off, and my son is going to be assessed for ADHD soon at school so his playing up isnt helping me. I feel like i fail him all the time because of how i was when he was first born. I get myself into stupid amounts of debt to buy him stuff to 'make up' for how i was. Im very emotion at the moment, could burst into tears at any minute. Ive taken the depression test on here, but im worried about what this is going to do to my life. Im worrying about my child whos behaviour problems are getting out of hand at school, and now the added stress of my own problems cant be helping his. Someones said it could be the fact i never properly bonded with my son but that doesnt explain all the other things im going through. Im scared to go to my GP because of my emotions and worried that Social Services may become involved and i do not want my son taken from me. Hes my life, hes spoilt and loved and i couldn't stand the thought of him being taken from me. Please give me some advice so i can help myself get sorted to help my son with his behaviour...thanks
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Medical