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Ask Dr. D. Love Your Own Question
Dr. D. Love
Dr. D. Love, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 19441
Experience:  Family Physician for 10 years; Hospital Medical Director for 10 years.
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Customer Question

Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 4 years ago.
Could you explain the situation?
What information would be helpful to you?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

hi doctor before I go on I know this is a very simple thing that happened but it is the way It has affected me

my husband ignored in a bar which I had only left 20 to leave my mum home and spoke to me but never turned around I was humiliated he was setting with a mother and her daughter

its not what he did it was the cruel way he did it

it is very long winded

I just cant get over it I have been to accord and she told me I was ill that he only ignored me which has give my husband the backing you are ill

he is really trying but I feel it all a lie I am terrified of giving a sound chance

it happen 2 nov last year 2012 with in 2,5 month I lasted 3 stone weight

I have not slept a full night sleep from it

he says he doesn't remember anything about it

I have to all the people in the bar that night to see if they could put any light on it


I feel he is sinister and cruel and he's playing tricked on me

he was able after I left to turn around where I was standing and ask another girl if she wanted a drink but he could turn around to me


I went to doctor they told me I was in dark place and need to talk which I did she she was good trying to get me grounded she made me under stand I was in a abusive marriage and that night he made it real

but there is something I just cant under stand

I feel after this terrible feeling all the time not wanting to kill myself but a terrible dread


Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 4 years ago.
Are you still seeking medical care or counselling for this issue?
Are you and your husband still living together? Or have you separated?
Have the two of you been seen in marriage counselling?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

hi doctor sorry im at work

i was seening a holistic who is also a medical doctor

she has said i am not gounded

yes still with my husband but she has said don't make a rational decision with an irrational head


yes went to a marriage counselling accord but she told me i was ill

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I work full time two great kids

have also buried two new born babies kidney problem

have got over them without drugs

I am very strong headed walk a lot

I am very angry with myself for not getting on top of this

I have a saying look back but don't stare

I cant get over this

I have tool to get out of this

but it is getting harder


Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for the additional information.

From the information that you have relayed, it would not satisfy the criteria for the diagnosis for you to be paranoid or for him to be narcissistic. Either of these conditions would require that the issue be an ongoing and pervasive issue, so a single episode would not satisfy the criteria, even if you are having difficulty in letting go of the single episode a year later.

It is more common that a person can have a new mental health problem that will affect how they perceive others around them, and this appears to be what your counsellor is referencing when saying that you are ill. The most common mental health issue that can do this would be clinical depression. If so, then it would clearly be beneficial to seek individual care for the mental health issue, either with counselling or medicine.

Regardless of what mental illness may or may not be present in you or your husband, though, it still would be appropriate to continue marriage counselling to help overcome this difficulty in the relationship.

If you have any further questions, please let me know.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

would clinical depression make you paranoid that your husband is play ing mind game with you

he fits a lot of the narcisstic questions

as controlling



twisting everything i say

the night of the ignoring

has really wakened me up to his behaviour toward me and my kids

but i am not strong enough to leave as the kids love him

and i am a very caing and very unselfish not my words

can this dread i have on me are you saying it could be clinical depression



Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 4 years ago.
Yes, clinical depression can affect how someone interprets the actions of persons around them. As noted above, a single episode does not satisfy the criteria for paranoia, but it certainly can affect interpersonal perceptions.

Clinical depression also can cause the other symptoms that you describe. Of course, it is impossible to make a diagnosis of clinical depression over the internet. I only note that it is the most common mental health issue to cause these symptoms. The counsellor would have been able to perform a complete assessment and would be in a better position to say whether clinical depression is a proper diagnosis.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

why i say paranoid i am blaming it on not having trust and am hype viliant

i feel he is looking at other women just to annoy me it is not him staring at other women is that he has stared at them that they are looking back

and then lying about it when i see it i turned my face away and say this is not happening to me and turn around again to see it is happening

it is eating me up

i cant get on top of it

he's saying thing i feel to wind me up i am even writing thing down so i can quote them back and he finds a way of twisting and make me seem stupid

i am not affected like this by any other people

is it possible i am not paranoid and he is playing games

i have come across a term gaslighting which i can relate to

if he is playing with me can this make me seem clinical depressed

i have my own business and can cope and kept this going even when i took what i have called a melt down when i losted the 3 stone weight

can somebody do this to you i have never taken to bed to deal with this i still find good in people and am a very friend and love people person



Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 4 years ago.
Certainly, it is possible that this is an intentional behaviour on his part, but that is why it would be good to be receiving ongoing marriage counselling. Regardless of the specific underlying factors affecting his and your behaviour and perceptions, it would be a good idea to be in marriage counselling.

I am scheduled to be elsewhere shortly. If you have any further questions, I will be able to address them when I am back online later today.

Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 4 years ago.
I notice that this question is still open, but I have not received any further follow-up questions. If any further information would be helpful, please let me know. If I have answered all your questions, please remember to provide a positive rating so that I am credited for assisting you and to close out the question.