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DrRussMD, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 65671
Experience:  Board certified Internal medicine and Integrative medicine. Many years of experience all areas.
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Hi, I just discovered my husband has been having an affair

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Hi, I just discovered my husband has been having an affair and is quite fallen for this woman. We have been together for 21 years, married for 17 years and have 2 children aged 13 an 10. We have our ups and downs but I felt we were a good solid team. My husband works takes him away from home a lot, hence affair, and I'm a stay at home Mum. He wants to keep our marriage for the sake of the children, loves me but not in love with me. I don't want that, as he will leave as soon as the children are ready to go off on their own. I'm so hurt and confused, just don't know what is best to do. I'm 51 and my husband is 48. Any advise very welcome. thank you
Hello from JA

I have had this presented to me in my practice many times over the years.

This is a terrible situation.

First and foremost, it breaks a profound agreement, and travel, desire, impulse, etc. none of these are any valid reason for an affair.

In general, the only way to resolve a situation like this that has any statistical evidence is family therapy...starting with you if he will not go, working with a PhD clinical psychologist.

This will at least help you resolve your decisions and communications. If he has a change of heart and wants to participate, be faithful, and not have this happen again, and participate in therapy to achieve this, then it might save the marriage as well.

Use reply to let me know if you have further questions. [Click reply to expert].
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