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Dr. D. Love
Dr. D. Love, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 19458
Experience:  Family Physician for 10 years; Hospital Medical Director for 10 years.
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Im dating a married man. Its about 3 months now. I am struggling

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I'm dating a married man. It's about 3 months now. I am struggling with the idea, but I love him and shrink everything else in my mind. But a large part of me wants out. I am scared and in pain. I haven't been happy yet I stay. I don't feel guilty, just don't want to be hurt. My parents got divorced when I was 9 after an abusive marriage, and most men I know cheat. So I don't even go after healthy relationships. How do I break this?
Thank you for using JustAnswer.

The good sign is that you have recognized that there is potentially an issue here. Unfortunately, some people continue to follow certain patterns in their interpersonal relationships, sometimes modelled after their parents relationship, and have extreme difficulty in breaking that pattern.

Some people are able to break this pattern with self-reflection, but it also may be necessary to seek professional counselling. At counselling, you can work to discover the underlying reasons for the pattern, rather than simple analysing the current relationship. Depending upon where you liver, there also may be a support group for people with similar experiences.

If you have any further questions, please let me know.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Is it wrong that although I know the truth that we cannot be together in the long run, I still love him and still want to stay on? And how can I mitigate the damage to myself?
You already know whether it is right or wrong, and it is not my statement that will make it so. The damage can be mitigated by the counselling noted above.

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