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Dr. SH
Dr. SH, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 8808
Experience:  Doctor of Medicine
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Hello! I nevaru tried to get advice online but Im desperate!

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Hello! I nevaru tried to get advice online but I'm desperate! I'm a 26 years old women who just got married to my partner of 7 years. Together we have a 5 year old daughter. After giving birth to her I fell in postinatial depression and started medications wich seemed to help. I'm still on medication and I hate it. Around 6 months ago I had a major mental brake down. So bad that I had to be signed off work for this past 6 months. The brake down was caused by my partner cheating on me twice and not just in sexual way. It involved feelings between him and these women. After I left he wanted me to come back and even to get married. I been drinking regularly for around 4 years wich doesn't help. It started just as an aid from stress and a confidence boost. I know it's called self medicating that makes everything worse but I belive by now I'm mentally addicted. At this point my drinking is making everything wors.when I drink I feel genuine hate towards my partner for humiliating and betraying me the way he did. He's aware that in my childhood I was watching my dad having years long affairs wich resulted in my mums depression and brake down. She's still not over it and blames my dad for ruining her life. At a moment I feel the only reason for my husband to not let me go is to have the convince of having me around,looking after our house and two dogs, do housework and little things that makes his life easier, as well as having to see his doughter every day without any hassle. I love him but I think I'm destroying myself and letting my daughter down as a mother. I just can't get over what he did. I keep thinking of just leaving and beeing on my own with my daughter but I'm scared that I would make the wrong decision. I just can't understand why he's not letting me go even tho he had proved in past that he doesn't respect me and is willing to hurt me in a worst way. I'm sorry if it is a bit haotick. I just wonder if there is any therapy that can help me with my issues. Thanks for reading!

Dr. Shahzad MD :

Hi there. Thank you for your question. I will be helping you out with your queries

Dr. Shahzad MD :


Dr. Shahzad MD :

Are you on any medications currently?

Customer: Thank you!
Dr. Shahzad MD :

Are you following up with any doctor?

Dr. Shahzad MD :

Please let me know.

Customer: Yes
Customer: Yes im
Dr. Shahzad MD :

Can you please name the medications that you have tried or are on at the moment.

Customer: I had tried citropra?. Before
Customer: I'm on venoflaxine 150 mg
Dr. Shahzad MD :

since how long are you on venlafaxine?

Dr. Shahzad MD :

Does it help any?

Customer: I been on it for around 2 years
Customer: it seams to help but I get terrible mood swings . It just caind of keeps me in the middle
Dr. Shahzad MD :

Have you been following up with your psychiatrist?

Dr. Shahzad MD :

When was the last time you went to him/her?

Dr. Shahzad MD :

Are you with me?

Customer: I tried counselling and it didn't seem to be effective
Customer: i had also tried hypnotherapy wich was unseccefull
Customer: i went to my doctor a month ago but they just issue me with more pills
Dr. Shahzad MD :

I think that you need to be followed up regularly with a psychiatrist and if venlafaxine is helping you a bit you may require gradual increase in dosage to see if your symptoms improve further.

Customer: They don't XXXXX XXXXXsten
Customer: i I haven't yet tried talking therapy
Customer: i feel embarrassed to go to doctors again as they hardly listen and keep upping my dosage
Customer: I don't want to bee on medication forever. I want to resolve this somehow but the way it's all going isn't getting any better
Dr. Shahzad MD :

you should not feel embarrased at all

Customer: I'm 26 and all I do is go to doctors not beeing able to help myself. I keep moaning to my family and husband.i think they all are just sick of me
Customer: I just wonder if I'm on the wrong medication
Dr. Shahzad MD :

I understand that but the best way to go about all this is to follow up with your doctor regularly so that he knows which medication would be best for you. You have to force him to listen to you.

Customer: i have severe lack of motivation and self esteem .im not who I use to be. I'm just surviving day by day. It's not life
Dr. Shahzad MD :

Sometimes we require changing a few medications to see which one suits a patient the best.

Customer: I have a child to look after but I'm slowly turning in to a self hating alcoholik
Customer: I'm sorry for spelling
Dr. Shahzad MD :

no problem.

Customer: i had also suspected ADHD as my lack of concentration,impulsivity and overall haotick personality. I'm just trying to find anwers
Dr. Shahzad MD :

You need to try your level best to cut down on your alcohol as well.

Dr. Shahzad MD :

I understand but the best way to find answers is to follow up with one psychiatrist.

Customer: That's what everyone keeps saying. I know it myself but it has becomes my way of die align with everything. It all just seems pointless. I feel like I'm just wasting away and there is nothing i or someone else can do
Dr. Shahzad MD :

You also need some moral support from your husband.

Customer: I will try to find a good therapist that I trust
Dr. Shahzad MD :

You should keep discussing these problems with him frankly.

Dr. Shahzad MD :

The more you can find people whom you can trust and discuss your issues with the better it will be for you.

Customer: I try but his like a wall. When i try to talk it's like he's sick of me going on. He wants me to pull myself togeathar. His nevar been that good at listening. Every time in drink I feel like I'm letting him down. But then I just start to feel angry at him for letting me down. Nevar ending
Customer: I feel that it's best to just walk away and deal with it myself.
Dr. Shahzad MD :

Yes that is indeed the best way.

Dr. Shahzad MD :

You need to find people whom you trust and discuss these things with.

Dr. Shahzad MD :

that will help the best.

Dr. Shahzad MD :

Plus you also require regular follow up with a good therapist that you trust.

Customer: Thanks for advice!
Dr. Shahzad MD :

You are most welcome
Take care
Wish you all the best.
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Good bye :)

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