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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 36075
Experience:  20 yrs. in practice, includinge surgery, general medicine, addiction medicine and pain.
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Please help. I have just been out to Barcelona to see my daughter

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Please help. I have just been out to Barcelona to see my daughter and I am appalled at the amount of weight that she has lost. She is positively skeletal. Her husband of 2 years is a pharmacist and is into studying nutrition and they watch documentaries about the subject. These are all on Netflix from America and they have become quite obsessed with it. They spent 6 months in New York and this is where it all started. She is also into running in a big way. She has gone from being a happy bright full of fun person to this morose skeleton. He obviously thinks there is nothing wrong with the situation or the way she now looks. It is so bad that my daughter and I had words about the subject on Thursday night and then she refused to speak to me. I saw her husband on Friday night when he came from work and he was very angry with me and said I had "crossed the line" and at 9.30pm feeling I had no
choice, I left the flat with nowhere to go. My daughter allowed this to happen and what kind of man lets a woman of 64 leave the safety of the flat. I am so worried about her and I fear for her wellbeing as he seems to be very controlling, an aspect of his character that I have never seen in the 8 years they have been together. I thought I had a good relationship with him and gave him the run of my home when they were here on holiday. My main concern is how can I help my daughter. Thank you
Hi. Sorry to hear about this. Is your main concern your daughter's health and all the weight she's lost? What was the gist of the conversation you had with your daughter on Thursday?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hello, yes but she won't speak about it. I am very very concerned about the weight loss and the fact that she has changed from being this happy, fun person to this morose thin woman. I just cannot believe that her husband thinks she is fine when I was truly shocked at her appearance. I know they are trying for a baby and she is having injections to help but surely this eating regime with the resultant weight loss is not helping her not is this addiction to running for miles every day.

And what exactly did she say when you tried to talk to her about this Kairen?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

She became angry and said there was nothing wrong. I'm afraid in my frustration I said there was and she looked anorexic and ill and why was her husband allowing her to be like this.

Do you know if she has a general practice doctor that she sees? Does she have brothers or sisters or friends in the area where she lives?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I know she has a general practice doctor and the specialist that is dealing with the injections. She was also seeing a specialist about her panic attacks she was having. She has a high powered job and travels all over the world and at one point became very afraid of flying. She was put on a mild anti depressant for this and I am not sure if she still takes this medication. She used to tell me everything but not now. She is such a personable person she has lots of very good friends in Barcelona but they are mostly shared friends. She has no family there. I feel so inadequate but what angers me most is her father who stayed with her last week. We are divorced and have an amical relationship,he told me she was thin but insisted she ate but it is all organic with salads and vegetables.

So as far as her father is concerned there's nothing wrong with her or with the relationship with her husband?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He agrees with me that she is painfully thin but he prefers to avoid having a fall out with her. He has always been like that whereas if I see something is wrong with either of my daughters, I become the tiger mother. I think the situation has gone beyond skirting round the issue and that is why I'm afraid the situation arose. I know I should have held back but I just couldn't bear to see her like that. Therefore. with regard to the relationship with her husband he thought it was fine although he thinks this obsession he has with nutrition is a step too far...but won't say anything

I see. Let me ask you Kairen, how may I help you with this?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

What can I do to help my daughter get out of this spiral of weight loss and addiction to running

Well you seem to be a force on one right now in the sense that no one else seems to be on your side. She of course is an adult and has her own life to control and lead so there's no way to force her to stop the downward spiral you've observed. I think you should talk to her doctor and to the specialist and tell them your concerns. Hopefully they can then talk to her and it sounds as though she may need to see a therapist for what sounds like either anorexia or bulimia. That said, continue your relationship with her as best your can but don't mention her weight loss or your concern about that since at this point you've told her your thoughts and nothing more you yourself say to her about this is going to help with the relationship between the two of you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you doctor. It is not going to be easy to keep my distance knowing what is happening to her. I have actually just been having a conversation with my cousin and she agrees that all is far from well with our darling Lucy and has felt this for some time. I am going to speak to one of Lucy's friends, confidentially and see what they feel. It will be impossible for me to contact her doctor in Barcelona as I have no telephone numbers and they would not discuss their patient with me anyway. You have given me good advice and I would like to thank you very much for taking the time to answer my questions.

My pleasure Kairen and perhaps you can stage an intervention with any family and friends you can gather together to talk to her about this. Let me know how it goes and please remember to rate my service to you
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