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Dr. D. Love
Dr. D. Love, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 19310
Experience:  Family Physician for 10 years; Hospital Medical Director for 10 years.
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My son is a medical scientist in Frankfurt and unable to get

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My son is a medical scientist in Frankfurt and unable to get work in UK. His wife and two boys of 7 and 10 returned to Uk last year because my law wanted to be back in UK. She thought our elder grandson was struggling with his maths, although he is fluent in German. They are living with her parents. My son's job is going well but he is struggling to be away from his family and want them back but my law is worried about her son's education. The boys can attend an International School in Weisbaden. They are showing many signs of missing their father. My question is is it better the boys be with both their parents in Germany or should their education be seriously taken into consideration and stay in the UK, which appears what their mother thinks is best?
Hello from JustAnswer.

There is no single answer that would apply to every situation. It certainly is generally better for children to be with both parents. However, there are many complex social issues that arise if a child is struggling in a certain educational environment.

Is the grandson doing better in math in the current school?
Was he having difficulty socializing with his peers in his old school?
Is he socializing better in the current school?
Are there any otherdifficulties in the relationship between your son and daughter-in-law?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes the UK school noticed he was behind in maths and gave him booster lessons and he is now up to speed.

He appears to be socialising well in UK school but did so also in Berlin where my son first worked for 5 years. It was when my son moved to Stuttgart last year and his job was not going well that my grandson struggled. My son had to transfer to Frankfurt and my law just couldn't move and start all over again, she's frightened, we think . We do sympathise with my law but it's hard to see the family apart and worry about the boys mental state.

Thank you for the additional information.

These situations are frequently complex, which is why there is no single answer that applies to every situation.

As noted above, it certainly is true that it is generally better for children to grow up in homes with both parents, but that also assumes that both parents are happy in that home environment. In fact, from your description, the difficulties of your grandson with school started when his father was struggling, and there may be similar difficulties if his mother is struggling with any particular home environment.

It is impossible to get a full perspective of all of the variables that are involved over an internet discussion. Ultimately, it requires a close consideration by both parents of what would be best for the children, and it may require counselling to help the parents ascertain the best situation. If the mother is frightened, then counselling can also help her deal with a difficult situation. So, the best advice that can be stated in this forum would be that family counselling may be the best method to determine the appropriate response to this situation.

If I can provide any clarification, please let me know.

Dr. D. Love and 4 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you for mentioning the family counselling; I was able to mention this to my law this afternoon, and I think she will follow it up, as I said that it was very difficult for me or her mother to advise her; she (they) needed an impartial opinion. My son has asked her over the year to think about attending 'Relate' together, but she didn't seem keen at the time, but she seemed to respond favourably to 'family' counselling.....fingers crossed, thank you so much.

Penny Reece

You're welcome. I hope that everything goes well.