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Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 36116
Experience:  20 yrs. in practice, includinge surgery, general medicine, addiction medicine and pain.
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i have 7 year old twin boys that have been residing with my

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i have 7 year old twin boys that have been residing with my 65 year old for the last five years, however i have had a minimum of fortnight contact with my children and for the last 7 months this has been weekly. i have recently discovered that on occasion she has been allowing my children to refer to her as mummy. having corrected the children myself of whom is who ( that i am their mother and my aunt is aunt). she has told me not to correct them.
i am concerned that this encouragement is confusing my children. although she has stated this was professionally advised.
can you please help is she doing the right thing or should the children be correct.
thank you
Hi--just to be clear here you are referring to your sister--their aunt? And from where did the professional advice come?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

sorry my aunt making her the childrens great aunt and i have idea who advised this as she will not say when asked

May I ask why they are staying with her? And how do they refer to you?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

they had to stay with her as i was in prison however i always had visit till the point of temporary release and the children would stay with me for 3 days a month for 2 years. then on my full release in January she will not let them stay over night as before though they come every week to my house to spend time with me and their older brothers. the children have always called me mummy and i do have a great bond with them

OK Natalie. Somehow I doubt that a professional like a psychologist would have told he to have the children refer to her as mummy--truth at that age is always the best policy. That said, I don't think their using that term for her in any way detracts from the attachment and love they have for you. I suggest you just let the subject go and not make a big deal of it with the children--the confusion comes in with two adults in a sense arguing in front of them.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

we do not argue or discuss anything in front of the children, when they were in my care i corrected them, it was later my aunt telephoned me to tell me not to do it again and it is happening more often they are referring to her as mummy when talking about her in my care. although a big deal hasn't been made in front of the children. do i encourage the truth to be stated and thank for for your advise.

Ok--but in a sense when you are correcting them it is a sort of an argument even if she's not there. If you have told them more than once not to do it that's sufficient for now and doing it any more in a sense is making it a big deal. In time, as they get older, I'm sure they'll stop referring to her as mummy
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