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No I do not have a spending addiction or anything along those lines. I have not been entirely honest with my partner even to this day but how this starte; kept things to myself when it came to bills etc and kept telling him I had paid them when I had not, clearly there is much behind this to have created someone I dont even recognise and I am very ashamed of myself and the pain I have caused, things I can never take back. As far as lawyers etc we have gone down this path, this is much more about what I do next. Last night he told me if it comes to the forced sale of the house (which is very likely) he will never forgive me. I should explain I havve been in two previous marriages where I was the one lied to and betrayed financially and verbally abused I guess, now I have done the same to him as was done to me which I cannot accept, the fiancial part, not the abuse. I did have for the first time in my life a loving relationship which I have now damanged forever, I really dont know what to do
did you recieve my response to your reply?
Yes of course I want to save my relationship but I cant do that if I dont understand and save myself. I do not want to continue with this sabage of all that is good. I have run companies successfully so I know how to manage things but why did I allow myself to lie and cover up to this stage? All of this pain is of my own creation and this is what I am struggling with, why.,I dont want to continue this pattern, I have already endured so much pain with loss of children etc, why did I ruin my life and his like this, it is very difficult to live with
just wondering if anyone is going to reply to my last post? Thank you
yes that is part of my question, why ?
No, we were very happy and I did feel secure with him, something I have not felt before in my previous relationships, yet, I created this and I would give anything to go back in time and do it over with honesty. I am hurt and I have hurt someone I love.
I dont know but I can tell you there was a time when I was let down by him and I still feel anger about that but feel I have no entitlements to say anything as what I have done is so big and so damaging., I think it is a pattern of some kind of sabatage but I dont know, this is what I am asking you? I need help to understand my actions, I cannot move on in any way without understanding this. Surely your experience with dealing with people who do this can offer some help here?
My parents relationship is still loving and honest, always has been, He also comes from happily married parents, they have become very good friends
I don't know why, that is my question