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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 3784
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Certified Professioanl Coach
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my 7 year old son was abandent by his dad when he was 3 he

still misses his dad alot... Show More
still misses his dad alot. he gets frustrated and angry. he can also be stubborn and disruptive when at school his teachers find him hard to handle and other children in his class have got frightened at his temper. he is getting therpy at the moment but they dont seem to be giving me any suggestions or tools to help my son.teachers have said if his temper dosnt get sorted he will have more serious problems with teachers in higher classes as he gets older. i am at my wits end.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Medical
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replied 3 years ago.
Thanks for reaching out. I am sorry to hear of this for both of you and I can hear how hard it is. I am glad your son is in therapy so he has a place to sort out his feelings.
Without knowing more about how you are handling his anger and outbursts, I can make a few suggestions and we can go from there. If there is a lot of punishment around it then he is getting attention beause of the behavior. I would completely ignore the behavior unless he is hurting himself or someone else. When he setles on his own, then I would go to him with love and hugs. I would also give him lots of space to talk of his feelings and acknoweldge all that he might be going through.

Just let him express and feel and just be. Help him to take a few moments when he is feeling angry to stop, breathe and then try and talk about what he is feeling rather than react to whatever has caused him upset.

He, may over time begin to see that more attention is given when he is calm and happy and no attention given when he is out of control. Create loveing and easy times on one time where you can be with nature and enjoying new and different experiences. Help him to find a passion and help him to immerse himself in it. Support and more support and less attention to the undesired behaviors.

I will wait to hear back from you. I know how hard this is for you and you are doing a great job.