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Ask Dr Uzair Your Own Question
Dr Uzair
Dr Uzair, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 9528
Experience:  MBBS, FCPS (R) General Surgery. Years of experience in Emergency Medicine.
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I think my partner of 17yrs has been unfaithful to me. Lots

Customer Question

I think my partner of 17yrs has been unfaithful to me. Lots of things have happened to cause myself to think this. I have tried to discuss my worries with my partner but it always ends in an argument. it is very difficult to talk as we have 3 children, so very rarely have time to talk. my partner tells me its all in my head and im not well. I know I am well but have instinctive feelings that I am right about my partner being unfaithful. I don't know how I can prove that what my feelings are telling me are right.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Dr Uzair replied 2 years ago.

Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I shall try my best to assist you while you are corresponding with me.

Instinct and intuition is generally not enough to convict someone of unfaithfulness and unless there is solid evidence of him being unfaithful to you anything that you think is only in your head.
Couples who do have solid evidence of being unfaithful with each other usually can not talk to each other about this since there is fear of initiating a never ending argument that might lead no where and only result in one or the other being more hurt and that makes the situation worse.
At this point in time, it is always best to seek marriage counselling as a third party intervention is the best method to lay things on the table and in the presence of a counselor both the parties concerned (you and your husband) are just and do not have the luxury to be unfair in their conversation. The marriage counselor can also help you identify if your husband is being unfaithful and if he is, what the motive and the incentive behind his act is. The counselor can also help you both trying to understand each others positions clearly and also avoid a conflict that is based on coincidence and misunderstanding.
It is my professional opinion that you seek the help of third party intervention, whether from a counselor, a close friend who knows both of you well or a colleague who has been to a marriage counselor for this kind of a situation.
And I would also suggest that you do not draw any conclusions about your husband unless you have solid evidence to do so and avoid confrontation till then otherwise, it will only push him further away.
Let me know if you have further concerns.
Please do leave a positive rating for the service.
Best wishes.