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This is Dr. David. I am reviewing your question now and will be with you momentarily.
I am sorry you are ruining and sabatoging your relationships and that you have a lot of anxiety symptoms
there are meditations which can help decrease anxiety symptoms?
there are medications like sertraline, fluoxetine, paroxetine which can help decrease anxiety symptoms.
medications like diazepam, clonazepam can help decrease anxiety
hydroxyzine, and propranolol can help as well
medical marijuana can help decrease anxiety symptoms.
have you tried these medications before?
have you talked with a psychotherapist before about your relationships?
there are medications which can help
did your doctors offer you medicaitons for your personality disorder?
mediations like quetiapine, aripiprazole, clozapine, risperiadone could help you
it sounds like your psychiatric issues are serious enough that you need to see a psychiatrist or psychotherapist regularly
you can get psychotherapy help online
there are therapist who can help you with that online on a computer
but to get medication help for personality disorders, severe anxiety, depression symptoms, severe mood swings, you have to see a doctor face to face to be able to get medications to help with this.
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you can find a psychotherapist online through websites like these.
do you have other questions?