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Dr. Ben
Dr. Ben, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 943
Experience:  GP Partner, practicing Medicine for 14 years. I have broad experience with special interests in Dermatology, Paediatrics, Sexual Health and Oncology.
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I am extremely worried about my 55 year old son who I feel

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I am extremely worried about my 55 year old son who I feel is approaching a crisis but don't know how to help him. He has led a lonely and self-sufficient life, was academically gifted but always socially phobic. He lives alone, has not worked for a long time, draws no benefits and does not seek work, has no friends, is nursing huge grievances against his brother who desperately wants to help him. He has no job, is not registered with a Dr and his only family contact is me, his mother, and that link is quite tenuous. With hindsight I suspect he may have Aspergers which was not heard of when he was a child. Is there a phone number I could give him and suggest he rings to talk to someone..just in case I can get him to listen as I suspect he is about to lose his home and if that happens I fear for his survival as I doubt he would come to me
JA: Do you keep personal medical records to help track this?
Customer: No
JA: Anything else in your medical history you think the doctor should know?
Customer: Not really except it has recently occurred to me that two of my cousins also have children who have lived a similarly isolated life and cut themselves off from most normal human contact so I wondered if that is relevant

Hello, thank you for your question. I’m Dr. Ben and I’m here to assist you today. Please allow me a few moments to review your question and I’ll be right back.

If you receive an invitation for a phone call, please know this is automatically generated by the site and has not come from me. Feel free to ignore it.

I agree there seem to be traits of autistic spectrum disorder/aspergers here.

May I ask where he lives (so I can source appropriate local services)?

Do you know how he spends his days? Does he have any hobbies or interests that you know of?

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
he lives in Dorset UK. He spends his days, and much of the nights, obsessively working on research projects he has undertaken out of interest, not as work, which involve huge and complex calculations. He may be a genius, he may be misguided, I have no way of knowing. The only paid work he has ever done was research work on birds for environmental organisations but that is sporadic and he tends to disagree with the people organising it about their methodology so has not had any contracts for a year or two.
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
no I prefer not to talk on the phone. I am very nervous that he would regard this phone call as deeply disloyal and I am almost his only human contact now
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
As you appear to be in America I doubt you would know what local services there are so maybe there is no point in this conversation. I mistook it for a british helpline

Thank you, ***** *****

I am British, working in the Manchester area.

The service I would recommend accessing is this one.

This will be a very effective portal into the NHS system where they will be able to carry out an assessment, arrange further support and/or escalate to other mental health services if required.

Does this help?

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
I have made a note of the organisation you recommend and if/when I can get my son to have a conversation about his problems I will pass it on. I will have to do it carefully as he has cut himself off from everyone else except me (and I sometimes think he just wants me to rant at) but if I can find the right moment then it may be possible. Thank you.

You’re very welcome, all the best.

It may be advisable to frame it in terms of it benefitting him in terms of his interests such as increasing his productivity, networking ability etc. so that it seems more attractive to him.

Please let me know if I can help in any other way.

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