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Dr. Ben
Dr. Ben, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 821
Experience:  GP Partner, practicing Medicine for 14 years. I have broad experience with special interests in Dermatology, Paediatrics, Sexual Health and Oncology.
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I have several sympoms surrounding painful sex. Im hoping to

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Hello. I have several sympoms surrounding painful sex. Im hoping to speak to someone about this.
Assistant: How long have you had the pain? What seems to make the pain better or worse?
Customer: Around 3-4 years. I havent physically been able to have sex. It feels as though it will rip me open, however its rhe same sexual partner I used to be able to have sex with fine. Nothing changes the level of pain
Assistant: Anything else in your medical history you think the doctor should know?
Customer: No. I havent been to the doctors regarding this

Hello, thank you for your question. I’m Dr. Ben and I’m here to assist you today. Please allow me a few moments to review your question and I’ll be right back.

If you receive an invitation for a phone call, please know this is automatically generated by the site and has not come from me. Feel free to ignore it.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I wanted to add as much info as possible: my partner has previously had thrush and was advised that their partner treats it too. I have done a thrush treatment but saw no change. I do have itching sometimes and my periods are irregular, but they always have been so dont believe this is neccessarily related. I am unable to go to the doctors due to anxiety so I am hoping this service can help. I have seen online it could be something such as vaginismus but from what I have seen this stems off negative experiences which I hadnt had until this occured the first time. Thanjs Ben!
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Also adding prior to the first time it occured we were able to have sex absoloutley fine. It happened once where it was incredibly painful and hasnt ever fixed in the past 3-4 years. It came out of the blue

That helps a lot, thank you.

May I ask some quick questions to help me give you the best answer today:

- How old are you?

- Any medical problems or previous surgery?

- Any medications (including contraception, supplements etc)?

- Any previous pregnancies?

- What is your height and weight?

- Do you smoke?

- Do you drink alcohol?

- What is your occupation?

- Any other symptoms e.g. pelvic pain, abnormal bleeding, discharge etc?

- Can you tell where the pain is originating from - is it superficial or deep?

- Have you tried anything to help so far?

(sorry it’s a lot of questions - I want to be thorough for you)

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Totally fine with all the questions. Anything that will help as its really bringing us down.Im 21 yearsNo medical problems. Only surgery was a broken arm when I was 9 haha!No medication, although I did have the implant for 3 years and have not had this removed. It expired around 2 years ago.No previous pregnanciesI am over weight - 16 stone and 5 foot 5. This weight gain has also been over the past 4 years or so.I dont smoke or drinkI work from home as a photographerMy bleeding is irregular but always has been from having the implant. White discharge.The pain is as though, essentially, the penis wont fit in the hole. Its like Im too tight to have sex. 1 finger is fine anything more is unconfortable, sex impossible.In terms of what weve tried is simply just trying to make sure Im definately ready for intercourse and the thrush treatment. Weve also left it a few months and tried again but every time no change.Thank you so much

Thank you.

This does sound very typical of vaginismus. It is true that this can be associated with previous negative experiences, but that is most certainly not always the case. The problem is that it is self-perpetuating - if sex was painful once (for whatever reason, possibly something quite temporary) then the expectation of it being painful again creates a negative feedback loop (this is completely out of your conscious control though, so please don’t feel like you have done anything wrong).

Just give me a moment and I will explain what we can do about it...

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I understand! So it could be that the thrush my partner and potentially then I had was causing the painful sex the first time or something similar, and now because of that pain I experienced Ive developed vaginismus so now my body is reacting

Yes, that’s exactly right.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Thank you. Whatever you can suggest to fix this would be amazing thank you. Can i rule out any medical issue / STI? Im honestly glad its something mentally than something I suppose, more serious, can I be almost certain its this? Thank you in advance

To improve vaginismus it does take some time, persistence and patience, but it will get better.

Get yourself a good set of ‘vaginal dilators’ e.g. here

And some good quality lubricant e.g. here

Start with the smallest size and use it little and often (e.g. once or twice every day for 2-5 minutes). Keep this going until it feels completely comfortable and then move up a size and repeat the process - this might take a few days or weeks, it takes as long as it takes. When you are comfortable using the large size then you are ready to try sex which should now feel much better, but do take it slow.

There is a good information leaflet on this process here.

It is very unlikely that any other medical condition or infection is causing this.

Does this help?

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Thank you so much for your help, yes it does massively. I just needed some reassurance that it was this as I didnt want to assume and it be something more medical. Thank you so much for this!

You’re very welcome, all the best.

Please let me know if I can help in any other way in the future.

Dr. Ben and other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Thank you!! :-)