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Ask Shahid Karim Your Own Question
Shahid Karim
Shahid Karim, Board Certified MD
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 508
Experience:  MBChB
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I recently went on a date and we were making out on my bed.

Customer Question

Hello, I recently went on a date and we were making out on my bed. We’d been making out for about 10 mins and then I put my hands down her pants and started touching her. She didn’t say stop but she seemed uncomfortable so I stopped quickly. She then said she didn’t want to have sex. Was I wrong for fingering without asking? I feel really bad about it.
JA: What seems to make the symptoms worse or better? In general, how would you describe your health lately?
Customer: Okay
JA: Is there anything else the Doctor should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: nope just want clarity on this question
Submitted: 17 days ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Shahid Karim replied 17 days ago.

Hi, thanks for getting in touch. I can understand your concern. It's difficult without being there of course but generally speaking it might seem odd but it's always worth asking if 'this is ok' with each progression you make if you see what I mean. Some people would be very comfortable going from kissing to touching and more but everyone is different and their wishes could even change while you're together of course, that may be to do with you it could be completely unrelated. The best thing is to take it slow, try to get some confirmation of what they're comfortable with and their consent of course and be attentive to them like you have in realizing if they're not comfortable, asking again and stopping if they do feel uncomfortable. Finally depending on what your status together is currently, you could always ask her and get her feelings and thoughts on the matter, and of course explain how it's made you feel . Trust me the more you communicate the better it will be for both of you. I hope that helps, all the best.

Customer: replied 17 days ago.
Yeaa she said it was nothing to worry about but I still feel unsure
Expert:  Shahid Karim replied 17 days ago.

I think the fact that you're concerned is a good sign and shows you're trying to be considerate and go about things the proper way. It's difficult to know sometimes but open communication really is the only way to go and you're making good efforts to do that.

Customer: replied 17 days ago.
But I feel like a bad person because of it -which sounds a bit stupid but it’s hard to shake
Expert:  Shahid Karim replied 17 days ago.

I understand. That makes sense. Just use these feelings to work on your approach next time and make sure she knows you didn't mean any negative intent. That's all you can do at this stage really. All the best.