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Chris The Lawyer
Chris The Lawyer, Lawyer
Category: New Zealand Law
Satisfied Customers: 23458
Experience:  New Zealand qualified lawyer with 38 years of experience.
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I'm in a difficult, tough situation that I need some advice

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Hello, I'm in a difficult, tough situation that I need some advice on how to proceed... I'm going to try and be concise as possible while giving enough detail, as it's quite a sensitive situation... My name is***** 29 and I'm a nursery practitioner, I was dismissed in November 2014 due to an allegation of child abuse, the allegation made by a child... The next day I was arrested, and then in March 2015 the case was dropped due to insufficient evidence. Following that I was in relationship with a girl and now she is pregnant with my child. She lives in New Zealand and we broke up due to accusations and doubts made by her, questioning my innocence... She said that I would only be able to see my child if I took a lie detector test, which I'm not willing to do due to high costs and it would bring back too many painful memories for me... I notified her of my decision and she told me I wouldn't be able to see my child until I took a lie detector test... I just don't know what to think or what to do.
Thank you for your time.

Lie detection tests dont have any value in New Zealand courts, and are not recognised as valid. When issues of contact with a child are raised the first step is family mediation and that will need to include the practical issue of how you can have contact from the UK

Are you still in the UK?

I can make some suggestions about how to progress your contact issues which can start with supervised contact and later move to unsupervised contact but the real issue will be how often you can visit from the UK?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your reply; I didn't know that lie detector tests weren't recognised as valid in New Zealand... yes I am still in the U.K. I received a letter back in 2015 notifying me that the Disclosure and Barring Service had decided that I was safe to work with vulnerable children and adults and that I wouldn't be on any register... I have been thinking a lot about that and it would be difficult for me to visit a lot due to costs etc but I would try my best to do so

Mediation can be done online so you could either see if you can arrange a visit and see if she will accept this with supervision, and if not try mediation to negotiate something.

Lie detection tests are junk science and should be seen as such

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm more than willing to do that as I want to be a part of my child's life. Yes, that sounds like the best plan... What does mediation mean?

About this service

Whilst most people reach agreement on parenting arrangements privately, some people need extra help. FDR is a nationwide mediation service that helps people discuss their parenting arrangements. An FDR Provider (mediator) will work with all parties so that a practical agreement can be reached that supports the best interests of the child.


How the process works

Anyone involved in a dispute about the care of children can go to FDR. The focus of FairWay’s FDR service is to help parties build a better understanding of their children’s needs, and a better co-parenting relationship. Our FDR mediators’ emphasis is on building parties’ communication skills, which will help you make your own joint decisions for your children in the future.


From the provider for mediation Fairway Resolution, which is a government company which provides mediation services. The actual link is here

The cost

FDR mediation is free of charge if you qualify for government funding. If you do not qualify for full funding, you will still be able to access FDR at a total cost of $897 including GST, by using FairWay FDR mediators. To find out whether you qualify for government funding call us on 0800 77 44 20 and talk to one of our Resolution Coordinators.


Where to start

To start the FDR process to resolve a dispute about parenting arrangements or for further information, please call our FDR team on 0800 77 44 20 or email us at *****@******.***

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
That's good to know, thank you for your help... If this helps, she is a UK citizen, and is visiting N.Z. on a holiday working visa I think it's called, and the baby was conceived in the U.K... So in your professional opinion, given the circumstances, would you say I was obligated to take a lie detector test in the UK, and if I didn't would that prevent me from seeing my child? I'm just not willing to take the test as they aren't conclusive etc...

I cant say about UK law and lie detector tests, but they dont get used here in New Zealand and if you apply under our law no one will make you take those tests

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Okay, that's good to know, thank you. I'll research this and take it from there... what do you think I should do now?

Perhaps contact her and suggest online mediation and explain lie detectors are not used here

Chris The Lawyer and other New Zealand Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Okay, that's good to know. Again, thank you for your help and advice