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Ask Dr. Norm S. Your Own Question
Dr. Norm S.
Dr. Norm S., Board Certified OB/GYN
Category: OB GYN
Satisfied Customers: 11301
Experience:  Over 30 years of experience in OB/GYN practice, including teaching students. Fellow of American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology.
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My new girlfriend is 48 and is a she has never inserted

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My new girlfriend is 48 and is a virgin she has never inserted a tampon or put anythink inside her virgina she now wants intercourse with me but she is in pain if i just touch half inch inside of her.. she so wants sex but is scared. She wants to no is there somethink she can use like the dentist uses to numb the pain...we went to our doctor and they said go to counciling
Which we think is usless
Hello and welcome.
I am Dr. Norm, and I look forward to helping you today.
Is your girlfriend still having periods?
Does she have the same pain when the doctor does a pelvic exam?
Does she take any medications?
When you touch just inside of her, do you feel some obstruction, or can you tell if her muscles down there are very tight?
Has she tried to insert a tampon? Thank you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

hi yes she has periods,, yes she has the same pain when touched by doctor, no medication,i can not touch just inside of her as I cannot pass the lips of her vigina with tongue or fingers as it hurts her,she can not insert her fingers so a tampon is out of the question

I believe there are 2 possible causes of her pain. One is that she has a tight, rigid hymen that won't allow anything more than blood through. The second possibility is that she has vaginismus, which is when the muscles surrounding the vagina spasm upon touch, which can be very painful.
I agree with you that for the doctor to say go to counseling is useless. I think your girlfriend needs to see a different doctor who can hopefull help her to figure out the problem and how to resolve it.
If she has a tight, rigid hymen, that is fixed fairly easily with minor surgery. This can often be done in the office under local anesthesia, but in your girlfriend's case, I suspect that putting her to sleep would work better.
In case her hymen is normal and she has vaginismus, then it's a matter of gradually re-training the vaginal muscles to relax when something enters the vagina. That takes time, patience, the use of dilators (starting very narrow and gradually getting larger), and gentleness. She could do this herself or you could help.
At some point the use of a local anesthetic in the vaginal opening may also be helpful. However, I think it's important first to figure out exactly what the problem is. In case she has a rigid hymen, local anesthesia isn't going to solve the problem. If it's vaginismus, local anesthesia isn't going to relieve the spasm in the muscles.
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