Hi. Thank you for your nice words and positive rating.
You know, the questions you pose to me are such difficult questions. Social psychologists, developmental psychologists, and counseling psychologists are all attempting to quantify the effects of these dynamics you describe that have become much more common occurrances today. But there is no consensus at this time and there is no conclusive research evidence to guide us.
I think this is at least partly because each child is so unique, we are all so complex psychologically, that to know how your granddaughter will be affected by specific life circumstances is beyond our scope off knowledge or forcasting.
I can tell you that in general, ALL children thrive on stability. I think you know this intuitively and this is why you are so concerned. Can she thrive IN SPITE of the instability of her relationship with daddy and his family? That's where we can't really predict.
What we can do is to try to help her feel stable and loved in the main portion of her life. I've treated adults who as kids lived very unstable lives, ones we don't want to really think about too much. But they tell me they had, for example, a grandparent who was a stable force in their life. When the grandparent called, they knew they were loved; and when they got to visit, it was a safe haven. So, kids are very resilient and a little love and positive feelings, praise, etc. can have great effect.
I'd like you to thikn of yourself as an "antidote" to that situation with his family and his lack of commitment. Because when she looks back, that's what you really will have been.
I wish you the very best!
My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me. If the answer has been helpful, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. Bonuses are always appreciated! If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, Dr. Mark.