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I don't think she is punishing you...she is 6 and is not doing this on purpose. I think she may be reacting to her changing environment going back and forth between you and her dad and is filled with emotion but is too young to articulate it or even know what she is feeling. So why is she like this with you and not others? Because that is where she is most comfortable to let it all go. You are battling with her and I would suggest puling back from all the battles...that doesn't not mean you are giving in, but rather choosing to have some peace and comfort in the house. I would leave the struggle around food as well as this just becomes another area that she is feeling out of control. Enlist her in things...cook together, clean up together and let her know how happy you are that she is your little helper and have her create her own reward chart with things completed and then out for special time with you at the end of the week for all things she chose to complete. You are both holding on tightly to each of your positions but it isn't working right now. Yes, boundaries are important but choose the boundaries that at this time are the most crucial and when she tantrums, make sure she is safe from any harm and then let her tantrum without engaging in it at all. The more you engage, the more it goes on. Stay measured, don't yell and don't battle. Over time, she will get though this, but she needs the love and support as she may be feeling a lot with all the going back and forth.