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JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 953
Experience:  25+ years working with familes and 6 children of my own.
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I have 14months old baby. General descriptions of her,

Customer Question

I have 14months old baby. General descriptions of her, started saying mom and dad from 6 months, climing up stairs at 8 months, walking 12months, and very active, happy, smily baby. Eating very well and can say around 30 words.
My concern is most of time she doesn't want to play with me but rather chooses playing by herself or loves to play with grandma. She goes to granma instead of me if there are mom and grandma infront of her. She is clinging to grandma but if I cuddle her or carry her, she wants to escape from my arms so much. This all started ever since grandma or her helper took my little baby away many times to help me. I mean they tried to give me some free time from baby eventhough neither I or my baby wanted. My baby cried every time when they took her from me but my mother in law asked me to do other things at the time. So I did not have choices to leave the crying baby.
Finally, I was very ill and hospitalized on one evening when she was 12months. So I had to leave baby to grandpa. He said she cried so much for an hour ever since I left. Then grandma came home and made calm her down. Ever since this event, my baby is clinging to grandma even more but she doesn't want to be in my arm unless strange places.I am really worried if my baby and I don't have good bonding and my baby seems not trust me. Whenever my baby goes to grandma infront of me I feel very frustrated. And my mother in law says always she is doing better with me so you can do some other things. I feel I'm lost and shame.
Can you pls advice me what to do...? We are living with mother in law. So I face this everyday...
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 10 months ago.
I am sure your child still loves you very much, but I understand your concern. The first few years of a child's life are very formative, especially in the area of attachment. I think you need to draw some boundaries with grandma. Honestly, he very well may be five as is, but your feelings are very important. Use me as your scapegoat. Tell her that I said these are very crucial years in your bonding to your child. You need to be the first line of comfort for your child. It is for his and your benefit.