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Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 9936
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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My 18 year old daughter is always rude to us don’t like

Customer Question

My 18 year old daughter is always rude to us don’t like being told when to come home like this evening, she has been rude all day to us , moaned because she us been with us all day then she washed her car and said she was going to her boyfriend at 8.30 and her dad said be home for 11.00 and then was a screaming match because she didn’t want to come home at that time she says we are horrible to he and we don’t leave her alone but we worry for her drive late at night we are finding it hard that she has a boyfriend and we know there sleeping together. I know that sounds a like crazy these day but we were brought up very strict so I think I have come a long way and when I say this to her she say I need to get over it I don’t want to argue with her but she just can’t till I move out that brake my heart help what am doing wrong
Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?
Customer: When wii someone contact me
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 2 years ago.

Hello, I'm Rafael, an integrative psychotherapist. I'm here to support you. I'm carefully reviewing your post now and I am very sorry to know about this overwhelming situation.

Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 2 years ago.

The reality you have described here is truly shocking since it shows an eighteen-year-old dependent daughter who feels entitled to be disrespectful, abusive, and manipulative. A person who disregards ***** ***** basic rules and expectations. it is clear your love and fear about her leaving have not been wise or helpful since they have tolerated these destructive behaviors tot he points your daughter has become a very insensitive, selfish and manipulative person.

Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 2 years ago.

I believe you and your husband need to come to terms with the fact that unless you set and enforce basic healthy rules for your daughter to respect and comply with, this situation would only get worse. Tolerating mental, verbal or emotional abuse in a teenager, fuels thsoe destructive ways, which goes against her own health and well-being, as well as against you.

Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 2 years ago.

When a young adult refuses to respect basic boundaries, be respectful and accountable as such when receiving material and financial support from parents, the chances for her to continue developing abusive and narcissistic traits and habits are very high. Thus perpetuating thsi pattern goes against any form of healthy love, caring and support, it actually causes the worst possible damage to the individual's personality, which will backfire also in the future through her relationships at different levels, since she is not learning how to be a mature, healthy, assertive and constructive adult, and nobody is willing to tolerate a person with such deficiencies for long. Does this make sense?

Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 2 years ago.

Hello. I wonder if you read my response and if it makes sense.

Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 2 years ago.

Hello. I hope you could read the response. Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions or to follow up, since I am here willing and ready to support you as much as possible.

Thank you,

Rafael