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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I met a lad through work nearly two ago - he has a gf much

Customer Question

I met a lad through work nearly two ago - he has a gf much younger than him.
now don't see him at work but really wanted to maintain a friendship with him as we hit it off. I felt he flirted and don't think I was wrong in thinking there was potential for a relationship.
I bought him a b/day present in feb and sent it through somebody else. it took me to sept for him to say no not got it as I was waiting for a thanks. he came round - his gf was away on holiday and suddenly we were kissing with the potential of more. he said how do u feel about me etc, I told him he couldn't have both and he made the decision to stay with her and he would get his presents back and return them to me within the week.
its taken him to Friday gone to do that a full 3 months - and within the 3 months ive asked him, text him so we could put an end to this matter, but hes just let it drag on and on until Friday finally he turned up with them and blamed xmas - busy time.
but I just feel like he was always having a go at me, taking his frustrations out on me like some sort of punch bag.
I tried psychics who have said he will come to u , you have a future with him and a family.
he told me he would bring my stuff back and we could all get on with our lives, but as I say he dragged it on and on without meaning and I felt I was getting the blame for asking about them.
what im basically asking is have my pshcic readings meant anything or does he genuinely not want to know me, will I see him again.
hes a lovely lad but I don't get why he is so cruel and argumentative with me.
most people would be delighted with a b/day present. he could have had a great mate in me but he just pushes me away
I really love him
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 4 years ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this very frustrating situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please tell me for how long have you known this person?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Your story seems to show a person who is not truly interested in developing any serious relationship with you. It has been several months since t started and all the behaviors you described show he wanted to have something with you but not something serious, and that'w why she told you he chooses her and then that was it. He kept your presents for that long,, making it harder for you...

JACUSTOMER-euveoc7x- :

ok so what now

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What are your core needs and expectations from a relationship?

JACUSTOMER-euveoc7x- :

with him - I just felt we clicked and could have been good together but I cant explain his constant frustration

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Form your story it is clear that you are looking for an exclusive relationship, right? What else do you feel you need and want from a partner?

JACUSTOMER-euveoc7x- :

a happy life, set up home that kind of thing. im wanting to know whether I have that with him

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Sorry, it seems you are looking for a "psychic" to guess about your future, as you commented you tried before. Is that what you are looking for here?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please clarify?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

From your description of this man and this situation, it seems quite clear that this man does not have what it take to have a mature relationship with a woman.

He is more interested in having a relationship with a girl and shows no signs that he is ready for or has any interest in an adult relationship.

He doesn't even seem to have the courtesy to respond to your generosity but only responds with weak excuses about being busy for Christmas. People do what they want to do and he could have taken just a few minutes out of his "busy" schedule to say thank you.

You do not have that with him. He is not a responsible man and will not make a good husband or father, at least at this point.

However, I did do a reading for you using the I Ching or Chinese Book of Changes, which is the oldest and most widely used system of divination in the world (much more than Tarot), and by which China has and is guided spiritually (and they are quite successful). I have been using this system for well over 40 years an it is very effective, and was trained for this by a Taoist monk many years ago.
Your reading said that you may have success with him, but you must persevere and stay on the course of your desire, and must continue to cultivate friendly relations with him. However, it does not bode well because you were off to a bad start. It says:

"He finds no head for holding together.

The reading shows only a small amount of hope but does not look positive in the long run.

I recommend that you find someone who is actually shares your vision of relationships and of the future. This man does not.

Warm regards,