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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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Hi I have just split from my girlfriend who is 4 months pregnant

Customer Question

Hi I have just split from my girlfriend who is 4 months pregnant and I want to try to re-build our relationship before our baby is born
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 4 years ago.
Hello. Trust issues can be the most difficult to repair. Has your girlfriend also decided to rebuild your relationship as well, or is this just what you have decided? She needs to be 100% on board, even if there are issues.
There are several factors which you are going to have to contend with. One is going to be time. It is going to take a lot of time for her to trust you again. You are going to have to understand and accept this. YOu must be willing to do whatever she needs to feel comfortable and work to get that trust back. She is never going to able to forget about the relationship issues. As long as you accept this, that is a good first step. The second thing to understand, is being a pregnant woman, she may be going through more extremes as far as emotions because of this. She is going to be protective of the baby and the future and will instinctively want to make sure that this is the right choice, not only for her, but for the baby.
You need to ask her if there is anything you can do for her to help her with anything she is feeling. She will have to think about answering you with possible solutions to help with the trust issues. Asking her what she needs is important because not all people heal the same way. By asking her, it takes a guessing game away.
You need to show her a lot of understanding and patience. It may be difficult and frustrating at times. You may have thoughts of, "why can't she just forget it and move on" which is completely normal.
Be with your girlfriend 120%. Go overboard to make her feel special. Don't wait for her to ask you for something, pay attention to her needs, as being pregnant takes a toll on a woman both physically an emotionally.
Be patient, show her compassion and things will happen in a positive way for you.