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JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 914
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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I am married and met this gentleman for the very first time

Customer Question

I am married and met this gentleman for the very first time at the airport lounge. we had a very little chit chat. He was flying upper while i was flying economy. when he realized i was on a lower class he did an instant upgrade to upper class which i thought was very strange and kind of him. since we arrived our destination we have been talking and getting quite familiar with one another. i am confused because he is very attractive and fun to be with.

No 1 question. Why did we meet and for what purpose.
No 2. why did our paths cross
No 3. What kind of relationship should we keep
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 4 years ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am glad to know you had this pleasant experience with this person while travelling and that you have been sharing since then keeping regular communication.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Now could you please clarify your questions? All of them seem to assume you believe the person who would answer then has a way to know about your personal and intimate lives and destiny, but that is not possible. You have posted your question under the Relationship category and most of expert here as mental health professional who could answer your questions as such, some are medical doctors who could help you commenting about medical treatment and some are from other professionals like social work and similar who could comment from case management and related experience, but your questions do not seem to match any of these areas.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I can support you as a relationship expert if that's what you want. Could you please clarify it?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello? Could you please reply? I can see you just joined the chat and try to rate but I have just welcome you to the session and you have not replied at all.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Do you want to receive a response in consistency with these basic standards I just explained before, or are you looking for somebody to guess about your future/fortune?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I am not a psychic nor a mind-reader, but I do understand human behaviour.

This man saw you and fancied you and decided to chat you up. Because he Has plenty of money and it is not an object with him, he upgraded you to continue his pursuit.

You were very flattered and he is very smooth and experienced WITH his charm and his apparent interest in you.

You are becoming quite familiar with him but this does not seem like destiny to me, but rather the behaviour of a man with the means and experience to meet and seduce women.

You may think this is something grander, some kind of higher plan or destiny, and it may be. Analysing your story leads me to this theoretical answer, which may or may not be correct.

If you value your marriage and do not want to upset your life, I would not have a relationship with this man. If you are dissatisfied with your marriage and don't mind losing it, then take a chance with this man. It depends on your needs and valaues.

If you do not care for my answer, please don't give me negative feedback for my effort, made in good faith.

Rather, simply relist the question and someone else will reply.

Warm regards,

Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 4 years ago.
Welcome to JustAnswer! I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. Please note, this is not therapy, but information. I do hope I can help you though.

I am pretty much with Elliott on this, well, and Rafael for that matter, but I do have a but to add. From what I can tell, you met because you were going the same direction on the same plane. That is the reason your paths crossed.

I agree with Elliott 100% on the intentions if the gentleman you met. As to what kind of relatio ship you should have with him, I would say non. You need to break it off with no strings attached whatsoever.

You then need to focus on the issue at hand, your relationship with your husband. I am guessing you feel slighted by him. He is not giving you the kind of attention you feel you deserve. If you value your marraige at all, you will work on that relationship.

First if all, if possible, you both need to attend marriage therapy together. If he won't go with you, you need to go Alone. Beyond that, I am assuming he has issue he needs to work on. The fact is though, I can't address those issues as he is not here to listen. You are the one willing to listen and hopefully make some needed changes.

I promise I am not saying that you are the problem since you are showing a willingness to seek help and advice you are the one that might be able to salvage your marriage. I challenge you to think of the one thing you might be willing to do that your husband might motive is a genuine effort toward change. Something small that would not require you too much sacrifice but would gain his attention. Something that will make him say, well maybe she does care and has been listening to me. This needs to be something you can do on a continual basis so as to give it time.

I know you came seeking answers about this airplane relationship, but I believe the answer lies in your marriage. There may still be hope there and if there is you deserve to give your marriage a chance.

I hope you will let me know if you feel that I am wrong or right in my assumptions. I am perfectly willing to discuss the options. The choice is yours. You can address me with further questions if you wish. I believe there is hope in your current relationship. I hope you will give me a chance to help you...