Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counsellor for Answers ASAP
Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about this shocking and overwhelming reality.
What do u advise
What you describe here is very serious since it clearly shows mental, emotional and verbal abuse and violence, where your husband has alienated you and your son to a point he could have this total control over you, and keeps threatening you if you do anything to protect yourselves. This is unacceptable and illegal.
I advice you to immediately contact your family and close supportive friends in order to get their support, which should include psychological, emotional and as necessary material support, besides of reporting to the police the different treats and intimidation your husband has made against you and them, besides of helping you to get a good attorney to support you with all the legal issues involved here, and mental health support for you to rehabilitate from the abuse and violence you have suffered and cope with all the current and future issues and challenges this situation presents.
Tolerating further abuse would only enable more dysfunction and violence, wounding yourself and your son more, and that's somehting I do not believe you want to afford and suffer at all.
Does it make sense?
Yes, I will go to my family and will contact the police if he doesnt let me.
I want us to be happy family do u think marriage counseling will help?
Absolutely, please do so, but contact yoru family and any close and supportive-healthy friend, since you should not expose to him alone, he would just abuse you even more, and you do not want that, this is why you should be totally honest towards your telling them everything you know, for them to help you and get all the necessary support you and your son need and deserve.
I think marriage therapy is essential, but also that it would be helpless unless he works first on himself with individual therapy, since the serious personality, mood and behavioral issues you described here he presents, are very serious, and I am afraid he would not be even willing to recognize them, nor to take full responsibility for them and to commit to work on changing his ways, nor to really respect and take care of your and your son.
He always pushes the blame on me, u are right he doesnt recognise he has issues, he doesnt give me my space
You can only control your own choices and actions, so please protect yourself and your loved ones, getting their support and any necessary professional help, since you do not want to afford further abuse and violence against any of you.
That means he has serious mental disorders, including personality disorders, and that's why I do not feel any optimistic about this real change for better, but I believe he would retaliate and become more abusive and violent, and that's why you need to get all necessary support to protect yourselves..
It is not normal for a person to abuse wife, son and family this way, to make these threats and keep you intimidated for you not to be able to protect yourself, and perpetuate his victimization.
You are right I will contact my family and friends and get professional help too
Thank you very much for your advice
Good! Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions and to follow up, since I am here willing to support you as possible. Thank you for your trust. Take gentle care and consistent action.
Sure thank you
I will be looking forward to hearing from you about how everything evolves.
Bye for now, and please remember to rate session.