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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3928
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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Drafted a letter to send to my ex. would you care to have a

Customer Question

Drafted a letter to send to my ex. would you care to have a look?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 years ago.
Hi Ian, yes. please copy and paste it here. I look forward to reading it and sending along my thoughts.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Can we chat?

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 years ago.
It is easier for me to see the letter in this format if there is any length to it so if you dont mind paste it here and I will respond immediately.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Ok, here it is. Bear in mind I have not really read it since I wrote it. There might be more I want to add and edit etc but see what you think.


Dear Anna,

I know this is really cheesy, but I have something I need to get off my (oversized) chest.

During my time recently in NY, it wasn't easy to do it due to circumstances but I don't blame you for that. I had an amazing time with you, and even though you had a lot going on, I still enjoyed every moment we spent together. Even if I didn't show it at times, I truly did and even being able to lie next to you in bed, fall asleep next to you and wait for you to wake up the next morning was something worth coming for.

(Next cheesy paragraph, ready?)

I have done a lot of thinking over the months since we called it a day on our relationship and it wasn't until the night I saw you before you moved to NY that I realised how much I really do still care about you. Now, I can no longer ignore my feelings.

There wasn't much I could do about things then, and there is not a lot I can do about it now either. I still maintain that where you and I are concerned, the timing was off. When I realised that for the first time, was when I truly realised how much it actually mattered to me.

Every time I have seen you more recently, has felt to me like the first time we met. I still see the same (highly) intelligent, interesting, funny, sweet and beautiful girl that I met that night. I miss everything about you and our relationship, even down to being outsmarted by you, being made fun of and our silly miscommunications we sometimes have. You are the best thing that happened to me in a long time and even in differences, I cannot help but maintain the feelings I have for you.

As you know, I am not always the best at expressing my emotions and that is the only thing I regret not doing while we were together. I never meant to make you feel I was taking you for granted or that I didn't care where and when things were going wrong. I can admit that I made mistakes and would do anything I can to change them. With all that, I will say again how happy I am for you and how well you are doing.

Like you said while I was in NY, that you appreciate the little things. I do too. Just to be able to make you smile and share laughter with you is enough to make me happy.

Anyway, however you receive this I want you to know that I really do love you no matter what the future brings. You deserve all the success and happiness coming to you and I would also do anything to be a part of that. I don't know what will come from this or where to go afterwards, but all I know is that I had to share it with you.


Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 years ago.
That is such a beautiful letter and I don't feel that there is anything cheesy about is a man that is in touch with his feelings and expressing them to the woman that he loves. I think it captures all you feel and desire and it leaves the door open for her to take it all in and respond.

Sit with it as we discussed and read it over a few times to see if there are things that come up that you might want to add. I believe it is a beautiful expression of your feelings and desires.

As we know, there is no way to predict what her response might be and so we must be open to all possible outcomes and we can deal with whatever comes up.

Nothing cheesy about this Ian....I think you have done a great job.