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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5962
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Hi, not so much of a question more advice. I am 39, I am in

Customer Question

Hi, not so much of a question more advice. I am 39, I am in the process of divorcing my husband of 14 years- he has taken it badly but I simply no longer love him. Last Aug/sept I met a guy on line and we chatted, we met up and pow got on amazingly, easily and intimately. He was kind, attentive and calming in a bad situation. He is in the services and has been posted overseas and this occurred just after our second date....... He immediately asked if I would visit him........ I have returning 2 days ago and was met by a completely different man- I asked him outright if he wanted to call it a day and the answer was no emphatically. I have been under huge stress and was overly sensitive I know; my ex texted and or called daily which I know irritated my boyfriend as it pushed me to be distracted but he knew my situation.......... He is 40 no kids and has been single save for a 3 year marriage that ended in divorce with them having never lived together ( she was American ), she was unfaithful. He has never even lived with someone- I think he maybe incapable of a relationship I need an opinion pls
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 4 years ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your problem.

It sounds like you could be right, this man may only be able to live on his own. It is hard to say at this stage what exactly is going on with him since you have only met up a couple of times, but given his background so far, it sounds like he is very used to being on his own and that may interfere with his ability to have a relationship. He could also have personality issues as well which are easy to hide online and not so easy to hide in person.

It may be good to ask him again what might be going on with him. You want to be sure that he was just not having a bad time of it for some reason that had nothing to do with your relationship. But if you continue to get the same feeling from him, he avoids talking about why he is acting as he is or he stops contacting you as much, it may be worth moving on.

I hope this has helped you,

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