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therapist325, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 100
Experience:  Licensed Professional counselor with specialized training in relationships.
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Hello I think I have no idea what will happen next. Ive

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I think I have no idea what will happen next.

I've met this guy on dating site almost 2 yrs ago said he's looking for a relationship and also his daughter keep asking when he will bring her step mum.

He's background, the only son, never married mother of his daughter (very complicated relationship without marriage and sudden death of mum), his partner had 2 boys (both adult but the youngest one just causing problems - even previously before mum passed away)

I got well with girl but recently we had some up site downs something like enjoying taking pictures for 3 hrs but then in next 2 hours she snapped and blamed me for everything, she left me a note I'm stealing her dad, which I've reacted in to have a talk and tried to explain to her I'm not stealing her dad and it's like when she'll get boyfriend one day she'll still love dad, she was the happiest girl in the world after this conversation, though she can see no her family is in pieces.

Our relationship was ok, even discussed what to do if I can buy a share of house etc, he's not the most commutative or love expressing guy he told me this and I know he did express it in different way which I did accept, he introduce me to his parents too.

But last weekend he told me right I'm going out with boys on Saturday and I'll see you next weekend. I got upset because he knows in there is a bank holiday on Monday and he's telling me it in way I should accept all. We had discussion in bed, I told him you know I want a family not talking about having children....he was just silent I was asking to talk to me no reaction ...the only thing I got was later on when he went to toilet then back and he was like right boys are doing this on purpose letting lights on everywhere, I thought we will talk about this later on. it took week till we talked then he said We have to take this weekend off to think if what we both want in anyway coincide.

I have no idea what to do, all my friends says he used me and he's not going to do anything. I feel so bad because he was really showing me love before but now he's like this.

therapist325 :

It sounds like there is a lot going on in this relationship. With you meeting him 2 years ago and him still hanging out with you, talking, etc. I am guessing that he does have feelings for you and is not just using you. However, if he is asking for space it sounds like you both are at a crossroads of figuring out the next steps in the relationship. Take that step back and look at what you think is going to be best for you. If he is constantly keeping you at arms length and it feels that you are the only one working on the relationship then use that time to figure out if he is the right one for you. A healthy relationship is going to involve give and take equally. Granted some moments will be more one way, but most of the time he should be able to meet your emotional needs overall. If you feel that he does then talk to him about it. If you feel that you are giving more to him and getting little in return, then he needs to step up in the relationship. You deserve someone that will be there physically and emotionally. Right now he may have the right idea of stepping back for the weekend to figure out if you both have the same goals for the relationship and if it should continue forward or not. If you are looking to be a family and he is not, then that can create a lot of stress on the relationship when goals don't match. You deserve to be happy and satisfied in the relationship. Look at what your goals are for this relationhip and also which of those goals you would be willing to let go of. When you talk again discuss the goals and see if they match and you would be able to be happy. Hope that makes sense. Let me know if I can further help or clarify!

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