How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dear Debra Your Own Question
Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dear Debra is online now

I have two collegues who are and in relationships but having

This answer was rated:

I have two collegues who are gay and in relationships but having an affair one. One of them whom I will call John is only here two days a week. I catch John looking at me alot. Once I decided not to be polite and I stared back. He blushed and looked at his feet like a teenager. When I am on the phone to collegues and clients he is also listening to every word, I have no idea what it is about why is he doing this?

Dear XXXXX : Thank you for your question.
Dear XXXXX : It sounds like he is very interested in what you are doing.
Dear XXXXX : Some times people become very fascinated by other peoples lives.
Dear XXXXX : He sounds like he is intrigued by everything you are doing. Very curious about who you are as a person.
Dear XXXXX : I feel like he is trying to get to know you.
Dear XXXXX : He is very taken by you and wants to be a part if your life. I feel the staring is him trying to get your attention like he is showing you he is interested.
Dear XXXXX : He seems a little shy when he is around you and I feel that he looks at you as someone he wants to get to know but is nervous.
Dear XXXXX : I feel like he is not sure how you feel about you and him getting to know each other.
Dear XXXXX : He wants to hear what you are always saying because he finds you interesting and wants to be a part of your life and listening is helping him learn about you.
Dear XXXXX : He sounds like he is trying to fit in.
Dear XXXXX : But is nervous on how you feel.
Dear XXXXX : I would try talking with him and see what he says. He is trying to get you to notice him.
Dear XXXXX : That is why he is staring. He figures if he stares he will get your attention to maybe start up a conversation but then he gets nervous and looks at his feet.
Dear XXXXX : I think it would be up too you to talk with him because I think he is to worried to talk.
Dear XXXXX : I would ask simple things like how are you? Keeping it simple not to make him nervous.
Dear XXXXX : He sounds like he really wants you to notice him.

Many thanks. He has now taken a post in another office and I have tried emialing him and speaking to him but have not got much of a response from him. I also gave him my personal number as I did not have a work one when I started, we were working on a mutual project. He only answers the odd email and never got back to me about any work questions. People never cease to amaze me. You want to add anything let me know. many thanks, caroline.

Dear XXXXX :

I would talk too him about him taken post at another office that is a good way to start a conversation in an e-mail. It's a way for him to respond on whether he likes it there or not in his new office. You also could ask him how he is doing in general. You want to get him to talk more in his e-mails. He might not know what to say so you need to give him something to respond too. Some times people do not know what to say back because they do nt know how to respond.

Dear XXXXX :

He might not want to talk about work, he might just want to talk about life in general.

Dear XXXXX :

I would e-mail him and just try to get a conversation going.

Dear Debra and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you