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Eveningstargazer, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 155
Experience:  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)
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Hey, So I am a 18 year old girl who thinks I may be gay, I

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So I am a 18 year old girl who thinks I may be gay, I don't care about this I come from an amazing understanding family. What scares me the most is the feelings I think I am developing for this girl. I dont personally know her but I am so intrigued by her, she works at a local supermarket which I go to. She always smiles at me but because of nervousness, butterflies and anxiety I ignore her, I feel so rude and I don't want her to perceive me like that. I really want to get to know her or at least talk to her. What should I do? Please help
Eveningstargazer :

Hello and good afternoon, I will be doing my best to assist you with this situation.

Eveningstargazer :

I will wait a few moments to see if you come back online, otherwise i will switch to Q&A and we can continue the conversation there.

Eveningstargazer :

ok I will be switching to Q& A mode. You will see my answer in just a moment.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Relist: Incomplete answer.
As noted above, my answer is below. It is wonderful to hear that you come from such an understanding family. With that said, the acceptance has to start from within. Regardless of what you might wish your relationship with this woman will turn into, you must first be comfortable enough with just approaching her. As you have stated, the anxiety of starting a relationship (any type, friendship or more) is preventing you from taking that first step towards communication. In fact, as you have stated, these feelings are causing you to push her away more out of fear. The first step is exploring where those fears are actually coming from. Either do a little self-reflection or journal about what these fears are truly rooted in. Is it rejection? fear of being hurt? etc. Once you have discovered what these fears really are that are causing these destructive actions, then you are start to change them. First, try just being neutral. Begin altering your behaviors in small increments. This will not only help you feel less vulnerable than diving right in, but also help her become more open to you. Slowly progress to small talk, and then to open conversation. This may take a while, but you will be growing you confidence the entire time. Take things slowly, continue your self-exploration and building your confidence.
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