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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5928
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I was hoping you could help me with a guy I'm interested in.

Customer Question

I was hoping you could help me with a guy I'm interested in. We met in a choir a couple of weeks ago and there seemed to be a lot of chemistry between us. He is generally quite shy and quiet. I caught him staring at me on several occasions, but he would look away when I looked back at him. He's even approached me when I was alone and I've flirted with him in a fun playful way which he seemed to enjoy. I'm not sure if he realises that I am interested in him. More recently, he continues to stare at me occasionally but also ignores me a lot. I'm not quite sure what to do next, as I find him very attractive and think he might feel the same. I must point out that we are a very social choir so I am constantly surrounded by other people. He seems quite comfortable talking to other women in the group one on one but if he approaches me and I'm in a group he acknowledges everyone but me!!! It's so frustrating and I even wonder if I did anything wrong. Am I coming across as too keen maybe? Help :(
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 3 years ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like the man you are interested in might also like you, but because of that, he could be too shy to approach you. He did approach you once before, but it is very possible that the situation felt too overwhelming to him and he is scared to try again.
It might help to approach him with a few other people along. That way, if he feels too overwhelmed with just the two of you, he might feel better with others there. Then start a direct conversation with him asking him about himself. People usually relax when they are asked questions and can talk about themselves, a subject that all of us know well!
Continue to try to approach him in a small group and connect with him. Then if all goes well, try seeing if he wants to go out with you and a few others from the choir. As you get to know each other, include less people until you feel comfortable with each other. That should help him feel less shy in getting to know you.
I hope this has helped you,
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