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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 722
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I am 37 weeks pregnant with my second child, my fiancées first.

Customer Question

I am 37 weeks pregnant with my second child, my fiancées first. He has always been the perfect partner and dad to my son, who he treats as his own. He hasn't ever given me reason to doubt him in the past and we've been looking forward to the new arrival. Around 6 weeks ago I had some complications and was unwell so we therefore haven't been able to be intimate for this time. I started to feel insecure as he wasn't coming to bed until 2am most nights and didn't seem interested in me at all. Yesterday I looked on his iPad and found naked pics of himself that were of a 'gay nature' he doesn't seem to have sent them to anyone, I think he may have uploaded them to a website though. I don't know what to do. I sat him down yesterday and explained how insecure I'd been feeling and he reassured me that nothing is wrong and he has simply been aware of the fact that I've been unwell. He said that he still wants all the same things and has obviously been going through emotions himself with the baby round the corner. He didn't admit to anything untoward. Now I don't know what to do as I can't stop picturing what I saw. If I confront him then I admit that I snooped.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 2 years ago.
Not sure what "gay nature" means in therms of the photos. But, it sounds to me like you won't feel more secure unless you come right out with your worries and letting him know what you saw. but, you run the risk of him feeling invaded by you looking at things on his ipad. So, you walk a fine line here. If you are not comfortable with letting him know what you saw on the ipad, you might want to speak with him again and ask again if he is happy and satisfied in the relationship and does he long for anything or anyone else. He has reassured you, but because you have the images in your mind, it is tough to let go. So, how comfortable are you to share with him what you saw and how might he react?