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Ask Dr. Norman Brown Your Own Question
Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1207
Experience:  Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
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I'm going through a very acrimonious divorce during which time

Customer Question

I'm going through a very acrimonious divorce during which time I met my current partner who had been loving, kind, helpful and supportive. My children and family with the exception of my mother think the world of him. Trouble is he doesn't work and wants me to give him a large sum of money to buy his council flat and to buy me an expensive engagement ring when my settlement comes through. I know I should walk away but I can't imagine life without him and love him so very much as do my children. The answer is obvious but carrying it out seems impossible for me to do. I cannot be without someone in my life
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 2 years ago.
I'm not going to assume that the answer is obvious, because I don't know enough about the circumstances yet. I'm going to ask you a few questions to help me come to an informed professional opinion.
1. How old are you? what are the ages of your children?
2. Are you presently employed? Or do you have intentions to go to work sometime soon? Doing what?
3. How much money in spousal support and in child support are you seeking?.
4. How did you meet and how long have you known your loving domestic support-man? Who is financially supporting him now?
5. Is he sharing your bed as well as your childrearing and domestic chores?
6. On the UK domestic labor market What would his manservant weekly services be worth in a comparable UK household?
7. If we assume that his sexual services, if any, cannot be assigned an equivalent monetary value, at least not legally--What would be a fair weekly wage to pay him?
8. If you made him a reasonably generous offer and guaranteed that you would pay what you can now and as you go and make up the difference between that and the total when your settlement comes through, what do you think HIS reaction and response would be? What is your reaction to this middle course of action?