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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3764
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I have been to my husband years and married .

Customer Question

I have been to my husband for 28 years and married for 20. It is a happy marriage most of the time. My husband has never been really bothered about sex and every now and then this has caused issues through the years. However recently things have got worse. The relationship is almost non physical we are like brother and sister. He never makes the first move its always me which I now hate doing as I'm regected every time. It makes me feel unwanted and unloved. If I try to talk to him about my feelings he just says I'm sex mad and that's all I think about. He couldn't be further from the truth. While I do enjoy the physical side with him for me it's the emotional feelings I love the most . I love that it makes me feel special loved and cared for its a wonderful feeling that the person you love can make you feel this way. But when I try and explain this he refuses to listen. I have suggested a we talk to someone but he has refused. What do I do except that he has no interest in me like that anymore or try and find out why he dosnt want me . I'm not asking for anything every night but to be made to feel special sometimes would be nice . I love him so much and never ever want to loose him. If he didn't work so hard I would think he is having an affair. He has always told me he loves me but I don't know why he can't show it . I know I'm not 20 anymore and two kids later I don't have a great body that's for sure. Maybe he just doesn't fancy me enough. We have to work this out
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 2 years ago.
Thanks so much for being so open with your feelings. As I read your words, I began to wonder if he is having some sexual difficulties and because of that, he may just want to avoid sex altogether rather than feeling embarrassed. So, although it seems related to you it may have more to do with him and some physical changes. You didn't mention your ages, but this is what stood out for me. So maybe the suggestion is for him to see his primary doctor to talk about things which may feel more comfortable than a therapist.