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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5929
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I need advice please my boyfriend has been distant weeks

Customer Question

I need advice please my boyfriend has been distant for 2 weeks now and then he's had some bad family news so I asked him if we were okay and I'd be there if he needs me he said we were fine and I told him I love him and he said it back but I'm not sure what to do? Do I leave him to get on with it otherwise he might ignore me? Or do I text him from time to time letting him know I'm thinking of him? I spoke to a few days ago bout my concerns he said sorry I asked him 2 days before he got his bad news if he was still happy etc and he said he was but now I don't know what to do leave him to it as we may not see each other for about a month or speak much or talk to him from time to time
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 2 years ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question. If you have been in your relationship more than a few months, then it is okay to stay in contact with your boyfriend while he sorts out his family situation. That may mean texting him a few times a week to check in and maybe seeing him every week or so. If you were only dating a few weeks, for example, then it may be too early to expect more. But if you have been together long enough to be exclusive to each other, then it is expected that your boyfriend include you more in his life, particularly if he is going through a difficult time. If your relationship is more than dating at this point, then he should consider including you, especially if you and he expect to stay together. He should consider you a source of comfort, not a bother, while he struggles with difficult situations. If he has started to exclude you and doesn't communicate on a regular basis or include you in any way with his situation, then you have a right to question him about his motives. It may be time to sit down and sort out why he is acting as he is with you and not including you more in his life. He will encounter other difficult situations in his life and needs to know to include you because you are a couple and in that case, you should come first. Not talking to you and ignoring your relationship, no matter what happens to him, is a sign he does not take the relationship seriously. You deserve to be treated with respect and be included in his life. I hope this has helped you,Kate May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!