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DrRussMD, Board Certified MD
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 65671
Experience:  Board certified Internal medicine and Integrative medicine. Many years of experience all areas.
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I am divorce with two kids 12yrs and 14yrs. I've met a new

Customer Question

i am divorce with two kids 12yrs and 14yrs. I've met a new partner and he has proposed last Easter , before I've accepted I discuss and make it clear I don't want any more children for various reason and he agreed so I accepted his proposal. A year later ,today he has confessed that he has changed his mind and want children . He loves me very much, vice versa. We are due to get married next year. I've asked him in 5 yrs time if you want a kid will you leave me and find another woman to have a family with? His answer was I don't know. I'm totally shock and feel he has been giving me a false hope . I'm 39 and he's 30. So I don't really know what to do . He is confuse too , he feels he doesn't get the some love from my children compare to the love my children to me. I do understand but I won't change my mind. He said he loves me very much and very happy with our life and in his soulmate etc but he doesn't know what will he do when wanting a baby will come. I feel in uncertain situation waiting if he's going to carry on with me or break up with me. It's really painful to go thought this and what should we do?
i had a difficult to bring up the kids and now I feel I have my life back . I had a depression since I had my first and still until now. I want to enjoy and have a life again after 15 years living in abusive relationship . My family is in Indinesua, my fiancé family in Ireland so we won't get any help at all and child is expensive.
i don't think it's right if I have a baby because he wants it and I hate it and want nothing to do with the baby.
Beside when I split up with by husband I've promised to the children that I won't have a baby because they're the most important for me.
Plesse de help us what should we do . I feel such a Shane to throw away all the happiness and future that we plan because of the
I'm confuse and I feel my life is coming to an end.
Please have kelp us
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  DrRussMD replied 2 years ago.
HelloI have had many couples that wind up in such conflicts.The options are to separate or work it out.To work it out, you need professional help as a couple.This requires couples [family] therapy from a PhD clinical psychologist.Not simply advice, but a deeper working of the two of you do understand, bring out emotions and make decisions.If he wants his own children and you will not do this, and his desire persists, this will not be compatible with the relationship.However, the reality might be that you do love each other enough to go with what you have, but both of you have to come to that conclusion. OK, so that is an initial answer….Please use reply to expert if you have further questions. When you are ready, please click a positive rating [hopefully excellent]. If you forgot something, come back. I am here daily.