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JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 951
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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I was dating a man years. He spoilt me and treated make like

Customer Question

Hi. I was dating a man for two years. He spoilt me and treated make like gold. Two months ago he dumped me by text. Told me he didn't love me. So I collected my things and said bye. Latter on that night st 3 am he was at my house. He had sent a text I didn't see nor reply too. It basically D said he was a sex addict and had been with women behind my back. So I obv told him to leave. I read up on the subject and decided I'd support him. So that was fine he then had two sessions of therapy and dumped me after both and came back the next day. We had a holiday booked and we had a great time. When we got home he still wanted me to stand by him. Then I discovered more lies he had told me that embarrassed him. So two weeks ago he dumped me again by text. He has now blocked me on every device email etc. He said he never loved me and was using me got a good time.
My head is totally destroyed how someone can be so cruel. This man is 50. I am 40.
I feel ashamed I got dumped after I said I'd stand by him. It was to me a double rejection. To not even sit face to face and talk about boundary a. Just dumped. Disregarded like a piece of dirt. Please help me
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 1 year ago.
I am so sorry he has treated you this way. Honestly, he is not worth the pain he is causing you, but that doesn't change the fact it hurts. No matter how worthless he is he has been a big part of your life for two years. That is a part of you have now lost. As arranging as it may seem you are grieving that loss. Match like the death of a loved on, it will take time to get through this loss. Grief has several stages one goes through before they reach a point of acceptance of the loss. Three stages include denial, anger, bargaining (trying regain what was loss), sepression, and finally acceptance. When you suffer loss, you will mostly go through most if not all three stsges. No doubt you have had some denial. I'm guessing you have already dealt with some anger and are dealing with that and the bargaining stage trying to avoid the pain associated with s loss. We fight against the next stage, depression. This is such a difficult time, when you finally acknowledge the loss. I challenge you to go ahead and let go of this fellow. Determine never to take him back. It's going to hurt. You need to hurt to become fulfilled and/or healed. It might tasks sone time, but you can do it. I hope that makes sense to you. Let me know if you have further questions.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi thankyou. I was looking more understanding to his behaviour and sex addiction. Ie is this normal. I suppose I can't think straight at the minute. I just feel like a fool
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 1 year ago.

We all have a tendency to trust those we are attracted to. He is good. Right now by the way, he is hiding behind his so-called addiction. I'm not saying it is not a legitimate addiction, but I am saying that does not excuse him. He does not need your support. The est way you can help him is tell I'm how it has made you feel and let him know you are done with him. I know that seems negative and final. The fact is, even if e did change, you would have difficulty ever trusting him. I'm not convinced you could feasibly put it behind you,

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
You know what you are right. I just have to accept he is a bad apple and good at it. I feel like such a fool :(
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 1 year ago.
Don't beat yourself up. We have all been snowed at one time or another. Just counted as a lesson learned and just be a little bit more careful about the Apple you pick next time