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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3784
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I have been flirting with someone at work and I am married I

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I have been flirting with someone at work and I am married I haven't done anything with this person but I have expressed my feelings to this person today and embarrassed her perhaps I'm not sure so I text her later today and why I put this I don't know!!!!! I said hey sorry if I embarrassed you I shall behave myself x......I no this is so wrong. I need to know what is the next correct step to take back to good karma ???

Thanks for being so open and honest about it. Based on what you are saying and feeling this is wrong, I would not reach back out via text or flirt with her openly and go back to a cordial working relationship. At the same time, I would spend some time looking at your marriage and how you are feeling about things and try and see why you are finding interest outside of the marriage.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you do you think I have gone to far to worry about anything at all with this person?

What do you mean gone to far to worry? Meaning that she might say something to someone else?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Perhaps yes , I don't know, we have been flirting for at least 3 months I would say. I'm hoping it's not to awkward when I'm back at work on Monday because she did not reply to my text I sent today

I would leave it at that and if you feel the need next week, then I would go to her and let her know you feel this is wrong for you and will not continue and hope you can remain great co workers. How does that sound?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
That sounds good. Can I ask you my text was really stupid wasn't it?

I don't judge and tell you anything was stupid. This has been going on for a bit with the two of you and so things got carried you have the chance to reel it back in and put a stop to things and look at your marriage as well and try and improve things for yourself.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
That's what I would like to do because I love my wife dearly but we have not slept together for over a year it's crazy and it's coming from me I do need some help

So proud that you just were able to say that. Go easy on yourself and look at things and find a way to reconnect with her. You both deserve that.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you, ***** ***** need some kind of one 2 one with a specialist because I miss her like that and I know she deserves more I know she would feel complete in her marrage with me

I would agree with that so please get yourself into somebody soon. Can you do that?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I can yes I would like to know why for sure because it's not right I love her like the best love you could imagine but sexually there's no attraction anymore and she is scared to touch me I case of rejection I guess

Sometimes in a marriage the spark can dim, but you can find it again and I believe you will because I hear your desire. Plan romantic things..push yourself a bit, recreate when you fell in love and be spontaneous. Reach out to her and may feel good and okay.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
your right it is like a fear I have but I shall try...thank you Jen.
Thank you for talking to me you have been a great help. I am ashamed of my behaviour some times like you say it can start to get out of hand flirting with poeple especially work colleges because you see them every day!

It is my pleasure. And please go a bit more easy on yourself...the beating up doesn't help. You are willing to look at things and that is a beautiful thing. Go get to it! :-)

I am here again if you need. If all good for now, please take a moment to click the rating tab to rate my support.

Thanks so much,


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