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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3778
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I think my mother has issues, they aren't that serious but I

Customer Question

I think my mother has issues, they aren't that serious but I need to know how to deal with it. She doesn't like some of my friends and feels like thy aren't my true friends as I don't see them in holidays that much although I know they are my true friends. She is trying to drive it into me that my friends are fake to me and use me. She is always telling me I have mental issues and always wants to know what I am doing on my phone- who I am talking to/what I am saying and I refuse to tell her. She also won't listen to me when I am trying to have an important conversation with her about something. What do I do?
Submitted: 8 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 8 months ago.

It sounds like she might be afraid of losing you to your friends so she feels the need to put them down in order to hang onto your relationship with her. How old are you?

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I'm 14
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 8 months ago.

She might feel like she is losing you to these friends and wants a closer relationship with you and may not know how to go about it. I would continue to talk to her about how you feel and ask that she listen to you when you try and talk with her. Teenage years can be a tough time so stick with it and keep working on your relationship. Let her know that even though you have your other friends, you love her and she is a wonderful Mom.

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I don't think so because my mum is fine with some of my friends just not the cool ones
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I find it so awkard talking to her like that
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 8 months ago.

Those are the ones that she may feel you could choose over her.

So find what way works best for you to talk to her but communication is crucial.

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
but my sisters find her so hard as well, and my father.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
She also won't let me move schools to America where my good friend is as well.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 8 months ago.

It sounds like normal adolescent struggles between the two of you....tough space for all. She is your mom and you are 14 and she makes the decisions at this time in your life.

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
No she doesn't.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
But how do I deal with her when she's screaming at me to get off my phone etc.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 8 months ago.

I might have a different view than you but at 14, respect for your parents and their wishes whether it be about your phone or schools is paramount. I am sorry you don't see it that way.